“Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many.”
Quote by Anthony Jeselnik
Author
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“Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.”
“I could see myself adopting a kid someday. But, obviously, I'd prefer it to be aborted.”
“Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.”
“I want to marry the kind of girl that walks out of an abortion clinic with a lollipop.”
