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Quote by Tamerlan Kuzgov

“There are no people more peaceful than infants.”

Quote by Tamerlan Kuzgov

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Tamerlan Kuzgov

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“If you can’t crawl, roll. If you can't roll then get that tummy time in. This is the story of the stages of development and how children need caring grown ups to nurture our babies so they grow into their fullest potential.”

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“Have you seen those kids nowadays? What they’re like? They’re f****** nightmares. And you do feel like strangling them. At times. They scream like banshees or maniacs. They’re mini sociopaths in the making. It should be illegal to scream like they do. It’s criminal. They should be arrested or silenced with———————. Yeah, whatever. While you wonder why the f*** they’re screaming like crazy, their mom shows up and tell you that they actually sh** their pants. Sorry. ‘Diapers.’ They sh** their ‘diapers’. So, take a hint. And turns out that all along, they were hungry, thirsty for coconut water. Or is it milk? Oh that’s right, ‘nuts.’ Babies are pros at juggling nuts while having colic nanoseconds ago. Either way, they’re diminutive unruly monsters whose terrorizing skills should not be underestimated.”

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“What man is interested in someone else’s baby? First and foremost, that baby is the living embodiment of some other male’s success in mating. Mating is our biological imperative and the father of the wretched thing won; beat us in this biological imperative. We’re the loser. We’ve let him succeed in perpetuating his genes.”

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“How should I know?!” “Well, you’re the expert!” “Why, just cause I’m a girl I’m supposed to know every single freaking thing about babies?!” I kicked a fallen bottle of ketchup down the aisle. “I’M NOT HER MOM! I’M NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO BE A MOM!”

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“I could stay like this forever,” I murmured. “We could find solutions for the Darkness. I could remain the final shield. If it can’t ever find me, it can’t ever destroy me. There will always be one final barrier to break down. Maybe it could be enough. You could have a life and I won’t even notice. Have babies. Have sex. Fall in love.” “In that order?”

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