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Quote by Jessica Valenti

“Men's pain and existential angst are the stuff of myth and legend and narratives that shape everything we do, but women's pain is a backdrop - a plot development to push the story along for the real protagonists. Disrupting that story means we're needy or selfish, or worst of all, man-haters - as if after all men have done to women over the ages the mere act of not liking them for it is most offensive.”

Quote by Jessica Valenti

Work

Sex Object: A Memoir

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Author

Jessica Valenti
Jessica Valenti

Jessica Valenti, born on November 1, 1978, is an American writer whose work primarily focuses on gender, politics, and social justice issues. Her notable works include 'The Purity Myth: Challenging the Sexual Orthodoxy of the American Right'. more

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“When I say we, I'm referring to society: copywriters, companies, and overall general opinion; I am in no way taking personal responsibility. We/they market to women like they are giant toddlers. This endless, pejorative, female-targeted infantilization of the English language when it's directed toward women: "Mama Bear needs her beauty rest!" "Rockstar gal gets her glam on!" "Work it, she-entrepreneur!" "Be a diva-licious ass-kicker in stilettos! The biggest, badass, boss-babe in herstory! The fiercest, she-matologist working in the blood lab!" This pervasive rhetoric is basically watered down, digestible empowerment designed to get a woman's money. It's the advertising equivalent of a "Live Laugh Love" sign.”

“Caro patriarcato, le colpe che ci attribuisci non sono del nostro corpo. Hai sbagliato tutto. Non siamo arrabbiate perché abbiamo "le nostre cose", perché siamo isteriche, o perché non scopiamo abbastanza. Non sono gli "istinti misteriosi" a guidarci, né i nostri ormoni. [...] Siamo arrabbiate perché le nostre vite traboccano di desiderio, un desiderio che viene costantemente represso. Così cerchiamo spazi, occasioni, una voce per esprimerlo. Caro patriarcato, ci dici in continuazione che dovremmo essere contente di come stanno le cose, che noi stiamo esagerando. Ci sono le quote rosa, i sussidi di maternità, le leggi di tutela. Ma questo non ci basta: "Vogliamo il pane, ma anche le rose". E non le chiediamo a te, ce le prendiamo da sole.”

“I looked into their new mom gift baskets. The basket included... a scarf. A fucking scarf. My first thought was that this company bulk ordered them for something else, and couldn't get rid of them, so they pivoted and tried to make it a "mommy scarf;" selling you on the idea that there are scarves specifically for women who have children. Which are very different, from normal scarves, for childless women. "Great for dressing up a look or just keeping mama warm while she's out conquering the world." The fact that they wrote a blurb about why a human would need a scarf at all, to me, further proves how dumb we think women are. As if there's some tired mom out there, typing into Google "what is scarf and how?" "neck cold. how do i hot it?”

“Growing up, I never knew a relaxed woman. Successful women? Yes. Productive women? Plenty. Anxious and afraid and apologetic women? Heaps of them. But relaxed women? At-ease women? Women who don't dissect their days into half hour slots of productivity? Women who prioritize rest and pleasure and play? Women who aren't afraid to take up space in the world? Women who give themselves unconditional permission to relax? Without guilt? Without apology? Without feeling like they need to earn it? I'm not sure I've ever met a woman like that. But I would like to become one.”