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Quote by Sarah Manguso

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Liars

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Author

Sarah Manguso
Sarah Manguso

Sarah Manguso is an American writer born in 1974. Her work is known for its concise and profound style, covering personal experiences, memory, and emotions. Manguso's works include poetry, novels, and essays, which often explore themes of time, death, and interpersonal relationships. more

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“The justification for leaving a marriage was that you were increasing the sum of happiness in the world. You were ending your own unhappiness, and your spouse’s (if you weren’t happy, your spouse couldn’t really be happy, either), and he or she would find real happiness elsewhere. The children had only known an unhappy marriage. Now they would learn what happy parents are like, and they would become happier, and able to create happy marriages themselves. But actually all this is false and self-serving. The only person whose happiness is increased is the departing spouse. There are no moral grounds for leaving a marriage. You are breaking your vow and causing pain to others. It is selfish, cruel, and dishonorable. How could he have lived with that?”

Marriage
Book:Leaving
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“Soft power. When you need to speak up, be artful. Take care of your partner as best you can by explicitly cherishing them and your relationship. Start by letting them know you need repair, is this a good time? If your partner agrees to talk, thank them, start off with an appreciation - something you are thankful for that your partner has said or done, even if it's just that you appreciate their willingness to sit down and talk. Then state your intentions - a good thing to do generally: "I want to clear the air between us so that I can feel closer to you." Center yourself in your Wise Adult, prefrontal cortex, and remember love. Recall that the person you're addressing is someone you love, or at least care for, and in any case, you will have to live with them. Remembering love is a recentering practice. You're speaking to someone you care about in the hopes of making things better.”

LoveRelationshipsMarriageAdviceCouples
Book:Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
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“Black men had fewer opportunities to become wealthy and were specifically encourages, often by the US government, to look to marriage, rather than wealth, as a source of social status. The government hoped that by linking social status to black men's role as husbands and providers it could minimize its own economic responsibility for the newly free African Americans - especially for black women and children.”

MarriageBlack HistorySocial HistoryBlack Wealth
Book:You'll Do: A History of Marrying for Reasons Other Than Love
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