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Your Child in Adolescence

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John L. Schimel

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“The more I reached my goals, the more money I made from drug dealing, the more girls I hooked up with, the more adventures I had, and the more accomplishments I reached, the more messed up I felt. For years, I strived to reach my fullest potential, until one day I had to ask myself: What if the whole purpose of life isn’t getting everything we want and living to make ourselves feel good all the time?”

“While my previous friends had always talked constantly about girls, parties, drinking, and fights, this group invested considerable quantities of time looking out for the wellbeing of others. They made the world a better place, and they taught me to do the same. Since we were looking out for what God was doing, we would often find ourselves in the right place at the right time.”

“Emotion and chocolate are a lot alike: Too much and you can get downright sick, too little and the world might as well end (that is, if you like chocolate as much as I do). We women are emotional creatures! Little girls may be made of "sugar and spice and everything nice"; but let enough time go by, and that recipe is sure to ferment into some sort of emotion.”

“Barbara was all too familiar with the reality that boys are very different from girls. For example, their sense of humor is different. A group of boys can watch old "Three Stooges" episodes and howl with laughter while girls just shake their heads in confusion, wondering what's so funny. Boys' eating habits (and preferences) are also very different than girls. It's not that one is right and the other wrong. It's just that a boy finds nothing strange about a ketchup-and-peanut butter sandwich, or a cold piece of pizza for breakfast, or putting French fries inside his hamburger. In a boy's room, it's not altogether unlikely to discover a petrified chicken bone or a year-old empty Coke can stuffed into the back of a sock drawer.”

“For girls, shame lay in wait at every turn. The verdict of too loomed large over their clothing and makeup: too short, long, low-cut, tight, flashy, etc. The height of their heels, whom they saw, what time they went out and came in, the crotch of their underwear, month after month, were subject to all-pervasive surveillance by society. For those obliged to leave the family fold, society provided the Young Ladies' Residence, separate from the boys' dorm, to protect them from men and vice. Nothing, not intelligence, education, or beauty mattered as much as a girl's sexual reputa-tion, that is, her value on the marriage market, which mothers scrupulously monitored as their mothers had done before them. "If you have sex before marriage, no one will want you," they said, the subtext of which was no one except a market reject of the male variety, an invalid, a madman, or worse, a divorcé. The unwed mother lost her entire worth and had nothing to hope for, except perhaps a man who would sacrifice himself and take her in, along with the fruit of her sin.”

“The world over, children are being nurtured and raised with dreams and aspirations to secure gold medals and accolades in every field, be it sports, studies, arts, creativity, innovations, ideas, and thinking, most parents in India began saving for their daughter’s marriage since the birth of the girl child. Marriage, is perhaps, seen as the ultimate destiny for a woman and is prioritized over her career, her abilities, her aspirations, and her dreams. Collecting and preserving gold, or expensive items for the dowry is preferred over investing the money in education, a career, or making her self-dependent.”