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Quote by Vincent Felitti, MD

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Vincent Felitti, MD

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“Lately, he had been wondering if codependence was such a bad thing. He took pleasure in his friendships, and it didn’t hurt anyone, so who cared if it was codependent or not? And anyway, how was a friendship any more codependent than a relationship? Why was it admirable when you were twenty-seven but creepy when you were thirty-seven? Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified. Friendship was witnessing another’s slow drip of miseries, and long bouts of boredom, and occasional triumphs. It was feeling honoured by the privilege of getting to be present for another person’s most dismal moments, and knowing that you could be dismal around him in return.”

RelationshipsFriendshipCodependence
Book:A Little Life
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“It is only when we feel deprived that we resent giving to others. Self-care does not mean you stop caring about others; it just means you start caring more about you. Start thinking about yourself more and others less. Since you have a choice between taking care of someone else, or giving to yourself, try choosing yourself sometimes.”

ResentmentSelf CareCodependencyHealing InsightsResentfulRecovery From AbuseCodependenceResentment QuotesCo Dependence
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“The Karpman drama triangle is a classic model of codependent behaviour. First of all, a codependent will rescue someone. Then, when their ‘brave and charitable’ work hasn’t been acknowledged, they become very angry at the person they have attempted to rescue. And finally, they start to feel like a victim. They feel sorry for themselves and complain how the person they rescued never appreciated them. The important thing to learn here is that if a person wants to change, it’s because they have made a decision to do so.”

AddictionAddiction And RecoveryAddictive BehaviourAddictivenessCodependenceDrama TriangleThe Karpman Drama Triangle
Book:The Kindness Habit: Transforming our Relationship to Addictive Behaviours
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“Any discussion of male codependency, even one rooted in early attachment dis-ruption, must address the pressures of the social-norm context for male devel-opment. These pressures are often referred to in the literature as “gender role strain.” Gender role strain in men has been identified as either the failure to fulfill male role expectations or the traumatic fulfillment of these expectations, and their negative consequences. One proposed cause of gender role strain is the early gender role socialization process which begins within the family context and is supported by a larger cultural socialization based on patriarchy.”

PatriarchyMasculinitySocial NormsCodependenceMale SocializationGender Role Strain
Book:Codependency & Men
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“Only when our adult children are forced to face the consequences of their own actions - their own choices - will it finally begin to sink in how deep their patterns of dependence and avoidance have become. And only then will we as parents be able to take the next step to real healing, forever ending our enabling habits and behaviors.”

ConsequencesEnablingAdult ChildrenCodependence
Book:Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
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“We must stop trying to change their behaviors by making choices for them and by shielding them from the painful consequences of their actions or inaction. We cannot change them. ... Setting our adult children free to live the lives God intended them to live is not abandonment - even if it means setting them free during a time of severe trial and tribulation in their lives.”

Adult ChildrenCodependence
Book:Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
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