“Michael fucking Jackson to you too.”
Source: The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
“On the other hand, a New Yorker charged me with hero worship of Lee and more: "Over-emphasis upon the Christianity of the butcher in a human slaughter business by one who was a parasitic blueblood all his life." This one is filed under "Views of the War, Marxist.”
Source: The Civil War: Strange & Fascinating Facts
“In August, 1956, a Swedish bank teller cheerfully changed a $500 Confederate banknote for an enterprising customer, at the same favorable rate of exchange commanded by Federal currency in that season. His mistake was discovered only when it was much too late.”
Source: The Civil War: Strange & Fascinating Facts
“You are acquainted with England,” said Candide; “are they as
great fools in that country as in France?”
“Yes, but in a different manner,” answered Martin. “You know
that these two nations are at war about a few acres of barren land in the
neighborhood of Canada, and that they have expended much greater
sums in the contest than all Canada is worth. To say exactly whether
there are a greater number fit to be inhabitants of a madhouse in the one
country than the other, exceeds the limits of my imperfect capacity; I
know in general that the people we are going to visit are of a very dark
and gloomy disposition.”
“Non tout baigne, tout ce qui est susceptible de biagner, baigne.”
Source: So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
“Her voice was loud, penetrating and very, very posh. You know the expression "speaks with a plum in her mouth"? Well, this one spoke with the whole tree.”
Source: Not All Tarts Are Apple
“That man could hide behind a corkscrew he's so twisted.”
Source: Not All Tarts Are Apple
“Socrates didn't waste time watching television.”
Source: Censored: John Laws' Book Of Irreverent Logic
“Is this 12B? This is going to be fun!” The British accent cut through the air like a wire cutter through clay. It sliced into me and my peaceful serenity that I had created.
“No, no, no, no,” I said, a little too emphatically.
“No, this isn’t 12B or no, this isn't going to be fun?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!”
Source: The Paris Soulmate
“Anaesthetic Aesthetic by Stewart Stafford
Crumbs infesting my bedsheets,
Sleeping sand in all the cracks,
As a hijack tick on a giant horse,
Awakened by deadening thudding.
Body falling down the elevator shaft,
Can you stop that instantly, friend?
I cannot focus on all my work here,
You should have water to cannonball.
And another stiff just fell down that,
Cool, go ahead if you have to leap,
You won't see me cleaning that mess,
Shattered carcasses, basement floor.
© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”