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Quote by JD Marquardt

“Cursing is an ignorant persons way of trying to express themselves forcefully.”

Quote by JD Marquardt

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“I refuse to die with my music still in me.”

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“Excuse me, Tex," the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn't want the first sound they hear to be your painful howling. There could be lawsuits.”

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“You still awake?' asked the anesthetist. 'Nope,' I replied.”

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“She held out a small voice recorder. 'By the way, could you describe exactly how you felt at the moment of impact? I'm writing this short story--' 'Put that away, Hazel,' hissed Mam. 'The poor boy is in pain.' Hazel persisted. 'Would that be a white-hot pain? Or more of a dull throbbing pain?”

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“There is only one Intelligent Being who exists and He/She is thoroughly enjoying him/herself experiencing and acting as each of us - so geez, why not just honor and love yourself and be happy then?”

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“Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants.”

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“...It's like trying to fit an octopus into a pair of tuxedo pants. And not a plain octopus at that, but an octopus that doesn't even exist.”

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“I am concussed,' I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis. ''You're fine,' Takumi said as he jogged back towards me. ''Let's get out of here before we're killed.'' ''I'm sorry,' I said. ''But I can't get up. I have suffered a mild concussion.'' Lara ran out and sat down next to me. ''Are you OK?'' ''I am concussed,'' I said. Takumi sat down with me and looked me in the eye. ''Do you know what happened to you?'' ''The beast got me.'' ''Do you know where you are?'' ''I'm on a triple-and-a-half date.'' ''You're fine,'' Takumi said. ''Let's go.'' And then I leaned forward and threw up on Lara's pants.”

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“Originality is putting its pants on while orthodoxy is ready to deliver.”

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