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Quote by Dylan Callens

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Operation Cosmic Teapot

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Dylan Callens

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“She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad. " Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?" "You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy. "Oh, big deal, " Missy huffed. "It's the ugliest dog I've ever seen. " "You tried to hurt my dog, " I said again. "I would have been doing you a favor. " Missy sneered. "Nobody. Screws. With. My. Dog. " I growled, punctuating each word with a punch to Missy's face. I gave an upper cut to the chin that sent her flying back into a pile on the ground. Zeb grinned at Dick and Gabriel. "Told you.”

GabrielDickZebMissy
Book:Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs
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“But now, preposterously, the morning hard-on was gone. The things one has to put up with in life. The morning hard-on - like a crowbar in your hand, like something growing out of an ogre. Does any other species wake up with a hard-on? Do whales? Do bats? Evolution daily reminder to male Homo Sapiens in case, overnight, they forget why they're here. If a woman didn't know what it was, it might well scare her to death. Couldn't piss in the bowl because of that thing. Had to force it downward with your hand - had to train it as you would a dog to the leash - so that the stream struck the water and not the upturned seat. When you sat to shit, there it was, loyally looking up at its master. There eagerly waiting while you brush your teeth - "What are we going to do today?" Nothing more faithful in all of life than the lurid cravings of the morning hard-on. No deceit in it. No simulation. No insincerity. All hail to that driving force! Human living with a capital L! It takes a lifetime to determine what matters, and by then it's not there anymore. Well, one must learn to adapt. How is the only problem.”

Virility
Book:Sabbath's Theater
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“[O]ut of the blue Sophie asked, "Aunt Faith, what's a vibrator?" Faith was in mid-swallow and choked on her coffee. ... "Baby, where'd you hear that?" ... "My momma was on the phone with her friend Ms. Kim last night, and she said that Lottie Bishop kicked her in the crouch so many times that she didn't know if she'd ever be able to take her vibrator for a test spin again.”

HumorVibrator
Book:The Summer of Our Discontent
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