“It has been said that I write with some of the best reasoning to ever grace the all-encompassing page that is mankind. Who said that, you ask? I did, of course.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“This is the part where we should have exchanged glances (from what I had gathered from my limited literature recollection, it added dramatic flair), but I was too intrigued by the staircase, and where it led, to look anywhere else.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“First time fucking driving and I fucking crash,” I muttered.
"Good thing is, it’s a minor dent,” piped the helpful back seat, “Mum probably won’t even notice it, her eyes as they are and all.”
“Thanks man. Makes me feel good about myself, taking advantage of your blind mom.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“Jay?” I was shaken out of my memory.
I think my dignified response went something like “Mmfh?”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“Seatbelts?” I said. She clicked hers in.
“Yes, old man.”
“Hey, safety first.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“Why would we even come here?” his mouth asked from his knees.
“Because,” I spread my arms wide, “adventure.”
He shook his head at me. “You were always so dramatic.”
“I prefer grand. Now come on!”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“Marg muttered something under her breath. It was either “Who does he think he is?” or “I hope he has no kids.” Weird that I’d mix the two of those up.
You’re right. It was probably the sec…first one. First one.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“He turned to me. “All he needs is you buddy.”
I nodded, steeling myself. “Sometimes what you need is not what you should want.”
A lopsided grin was my response. “You can philosophize, or you can come with me.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“I was so caught up in my thoughts I did not notice the wire till I got caught up in it. Right. Of course. Tomato patch. Those poor fruits. Or vegetables. Those poor fruitables. Those poor veguits.
I have too much time on my hands.”
Source: The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel
“When you begin with the premise "I treat everyone equally," you have already blinkered yourself from seeing where you don't, or can't, or shouldn't. There is no way to treat two people equally, because they are each unique, with respective strengths and weaknesses.”
Source: Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful