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Quote by Rosario Ferré

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The Youngest Doll

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Rosario Ferré

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“I don't believe your love for your family has to mean you sacrifice who you are for them, or for tradition. The world changes, whether we try to keep it the same or not. I get that you need to embrace your family's heritage, and you should, but it can't be some box you get put into that can only look the way it's always looked.”

“How can dialogue be fruitful? The answer to this question is the most important thing in this treatise because many of us now realise that a new method must be employed in training children and interacting with them. Many now believe more in holding consultations in family life, and in dialogues and negotiations; but because they lack proper knowledge and expertise regarding the principles and morals to be observed in doing this, their attempts at holding dialogue often end with quarrels, arguments and divergence of views. This is why you would all recall many situations in which the wisest person in a family would say, “I hope we do not discuss this topic any further for now, so that nerves are not frayed or we end up disagreeing and each one of us gets up and goes into his room.”

“Dialogue is the interaction of souls before it can be the interaction of brains. And dialogue within a family is much more difficult than that between two mates at school or two men negotiating a business transaction. The reasons for this difficulty are many, among which is the fact that the home is a place for spontaneous behavior where the parties to the dialogue know one another very well with each one having formed what appears to be the final opinion about every other person. The father knows his son’s aspirations as well as his weak points, and having tried unsuccessfully to help him several times before now, he cannot see why he should dialogue with him. The mother also thinks that her husband has passed a decree on a matter, and knowing him well that he does not reverse his decisions easily, she thinks that dialogue with him will only raise tension and bring no benefit.”

“When family members sit down to dialogue, it is important for them to make their first goal, which is to strengthen the noble feeling of love that they mutually share, and to improve the connection of souls that binds them. This is most important for the success of the dialogue, and only next to it comes the problem for which the dialogue is being held. What this means is to emphasize the fact, rather than making the achievement of specific results the goal of the sitting. What is more worthy of focus is improving the bond between members of the family, fostering their mutual compassion and the degree of their mutual trust.”