Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Judith Lewis Herman

Quote by Judith Lewis Herman

Work

Father-Daughter Incest

Browse quotes and source details for this work. more

Author

Judith Lewis Herman
Judith Lewis Herman

Judith Lewis Herman is an American author renowned for her work in the field of psychological trauma. Her writings delve deeply into the impact of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the effects of traumatic experiences on individuals and society. more

You May Also Like

“You may experience waves of disbelief after each memory you retrieve. Whether as a phase or waves, the disbelief is usually accompanied by massive self-hate and guilt. ‘How can I even think such a thing? I must really be warped,’ you tell yourself.”

Child AbuseDisbeliefDissociationChild Sexual AbuseIncestSelf DoubtRepressed MemoriesDissociative AmnesiaChild Abuse SurvivorRecovered MemoriesTrauma MemoryDissociated
Book:Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse
Create image

“Society gives the image of sexual violators as weird, ugly, anti-social, alcoholics. Society gives the impression that violators kidnap children are out of their homes and take them to some wooded area and abandon them after the violation. Society gives the impression that everyone hates people who violate children. If all of these myths were true, healing would not be as challenging as it is. Half of our healing is about the actual abuse. The other half is about how survivors fit into society in the face of the myths that people hold in order to make themselves feel safe. The truth is that 80% of childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members. Yet we rarely hear the word “incest”. The word is too ugly and the truth is too scary. Think about what would happen if we ran a campaign to end incest instead of childhood sexual abuse. The number one place that children should know they are safe is in their homes. As it stands, as long as violators keep sexual abuse within the family, the chances of repercussion by anyone is pretty low. Wives won’t leave violating husbands, mothers won’t kick their violating children out of the home, and violating grandparents still get invited to holiday dinners. It is time to start cleaning house. If we stop incest first, then we will strengthen our cause against all sexual abuse.”

HealingSocietyAbuseDenialViolationChild Sexual AbuseSurvivorsMythsIncestHealing InsightsSociety DenialDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeClean HouseHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbusePedophile ProtectorsPedophile Protector
Author:Rosenna Bakari
Create image

“Though all the daughters eventually succeeded in escaping from their families, they felt, even at this time of the interview (while in their 20s and 30s) that they would never be safe with their fathers, and that they would have to defend themselves as long as their fathers lived.”

FearSexual AbuseChild Sexual AbuseIncestDysfunctional FamilyChild RapeChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorAbusive MenAbusive FatherAbusive Parent
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
Create image

“My mom called Grandma today and told her we would no longer be attending family parties. My mom told her we have had enough of being blamed for something Brian did and everyone brushing it off like it was no big deal.”

BlameDenialChild AbuseChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsIncestAssertivenessDysfunctional FamilyChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorFamily ConflictPedophile Protector
Book:Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir
Create image

“If someone would have talked in school about safe touch and unsafe touch, I believe I would have spoken up as a child and not been victimized over and over again for years, but that day never came, which is why my mission now is to protect children from the childhood I could not be protected from.”

EducationChild AbuseChild Sexual AbuseChildhood Sexual AbuseRevictimisationChild Abuse Prevention
Book:An Unimaginable Act: Overcoming and Preventing Child Abuse Through Erin's Law
Create image

“When I first started to remember specific memories of abuse, I felt like I had a storm cloud over me for about two or three days beforehand. When the memory finally surfaced, I felt like I was alone in a dark cave. I stayed in bed just thinking and crying and eating chocolate. I wrote in my healing journal and talked it out with a friend. I examined what I thought and how I felt and cried some more. It was agonizing. The more issues I faced, the stronger I got. It wasn’t a pleasant process, but I knew it would be over in a few days and I would feel alive again. With each memory, I recovered faster and I had longer and longer breaks in between them. Facing them made me stronger. I was able to see more and more of the truth without it overwhelming me. Even though the memories increased in intensity, it was easier to deal with them.”

Child Sexual AbuseSurvivorsIncestTraumatic ExperiencesRepressed MemoriesAbuse SurvivorRecovered MemoriesFlashbacks
Book:The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal
Create image

“The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear—we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender…In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.”

HealingCrimeShameRageRecoveryRapeOutrageChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsIncestHealing InsightsChild RapeHealing From AbuseRecovery From Abuse
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
Create image