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Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

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Kimberlee Roth

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“Sadly, psychiatric training still includes far too little on the very serious psychiatric sequelae of childhood trauma, especially CSA [child sexual abuse]. There is inadequate recognition within mental health services of the prevalence and importance of Dissociative Disorders, sufferers of which are frequently misdiagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), or, in the cases of DID, schizophrenia. This is to some extent understandable as some of the features of DID appear superficially to mimic those of schizophrenia and/or Borderline Personality Disorder.”

Mental HealthMental IllnessPsychiatryDissociationSchizophreniaSchizophrenicBorderline Personality DisorderTrauma SurvivorsDissociative DisordersChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorMisdiagnosisBpdDdnosMental Health ProfessionalsMental Health SystemDissociative SymptomsBorderline PersonalityMisdiagnosedMental Disordwr
Book:Attachment, Trauma and Multiplicity: Working with Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“Research has also revealed that women who have developed PTSD in relation to early childhood sexual abuse often develop borderline personality disorder. Some severe cases will result in the development of dissociative identity disorder or depersonalization disorder. Patients who have been exposed to protracted and repeated sexual abuse may also develop schizophrenia simultaneously with PTSD.”

PtsdDissociative Identity DisorderChild Sexual AbuseSchizophreniaBorderline Personality DisorderDissociative DisordersDepersonalization
Book:Lessons Learned: The Anneliese Michel Exorcism: The Implementation of a Safe and Thorough Examination, Determination, and Exorcism of Demonic Possession
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“We propose that BPD involves secondary structural dissociation. Consistent with this, Golynkina and Ryle (1999) found that patients with BPD encompassed a dissociative part of the personality that seems to represent an ANP (a coping ANP) and more than one EP (abuser rage, victim rage, passive victim, and zombie). Some patients with BPD have severe dissociative symptoms, and may actually border on DDNOS or DID. Our clinical observations suggest that dissociative parts in BPD patients have less emancipation and elaboration, and less distinct sense of self than in DDNOS or DID.”

DissociationMultiple PersonalitiesBorderline Personality DisorderBpdPersonality DisorderStructural DissociationApparently Normal PartAnpEmotional Part
Book:The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization
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“Within the mental-health system in North America, the borderline victim of severe childhood trauma is usually blamed for her behaviour, which is regarded as having no legitimate basis and being self-indulgent; her trauma history is ignored and not talked about; and she is given as little treatment and follow-up as possible. At St Boniface Hospital in Winnipeg, many staff members expressed the opinion, in my presence, that borderlines and multiple personality disorder patients did not have a legitimate right to in-patient treatment, and the out-patient department would not accept patients with either diagnosis. (1995)”

Mental Health StigmaBorderline Personality DisorderTransferenceMental Health ProfessionalsMental Health BiasPersonality DisorderInstitutional OppressionMental Health SystemMental Illness DiscriminationLabellingCountertransferenceMental Health DiscriminationMental Illnesss Stigma
Book:Satanic Ritual Abuse: Principles of Treatment
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“Therapists sometimes warn family members not to depend on the person with BPD to validate their self-worth, yet young children have no choice. They can and will do anything to hold onto the good mother (the loving, caring person) who unpredictably turns into the Witch mother (the terrifying, raging beast).”

Child AbuseEmotional AbuseBorderline Personality DisorderBpdAbusive MotherBorderline Mother
Book:Understanding the Borderline Mother
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“The case of a patient with dissociative identity disorder follows: Cindy, a 24-year-old woman, was transferred to the psychiatry service to facilitate community placement. Over the years, she had received many different diagnoses, including schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and bipolar disorder. Dissociative identity disorder was her current diagnosis. Cindy had been well until 3 years before admission, when she developed depression, "voices," multiple somatic complaints, periods of amnesia, and wrist cutting. Her family and friends considered her a pathological liar because she would do or say things that she would later deny. Chronic depression and recurrent suicidal behavior led to frequent hospitalizations. Cindy had trials of antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and anxiolytics, all without benefit. Her condition continued to worsen. Cindy was a petite, neatly groomed woman who cooperated well with the treatment team. She reported having nine distinct alters that ranged in age from 2 to 48 years; two were masculine. Cindy’s main concern was her inability to control the switches among her alters, which made her feel out of control. She reported having been sexually abused by her father as a child and described visual hallucinations of him threatening her with a knife. We were unable to confirm the history of sexual abuse but thought it likely, based on what we knew of her chaotic early home life. Nursing staff observed several episodes in which Cindy switched to a troublesome alter. Her voice would change in inflection and tone, becoming childlike as ]oy, an 8-year-old alter, took control. Arrangements were made for individual psychotherapy and Cindy was discharged. At a follow-up 3 years later, Cindy still had many alters but was functioning better, had fewer switches, and lived independently. She continued to see a therapist weekly and hoped to one day integrate her many alters.”

LyingCuttingMental IllnessSuicidalDissociative Identity DisorderHallucinationsMultiple Personality DisorderLiarMentally IllAlter PersonalitiesBipolar DisorderDissociative DisorderBorderline Personality DisorderDissociative AmnesiaMisdiagnosisHearing VoicesSexual Abuse SurvivorSuicide AttemptsCompulsive LiarPathological LyingSomatic Symptoms
Book:Introductory Textbook of Psychiatry, Fourth Edition
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