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Whenever you're here, I'm there for you

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Jarod Kintz

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“Just a few days before, Jason had been part of the noisy street- scape, trying to talk to his aunt Joyce back in Shakopee, Minnesota. To avoid the blaring traffic and techno music, he’d ducked into a quiet construction site, phone pressed against his ear, eyes on his shoes. That was when a hard punch connected with his cheekbone. The phone went flying. Probably the worst text I’ve ever gotten was the one line, Jason’s been mugged. Accounting it later, he would say his military training must have kicked in. “Before I could think about it, I’d kicked the legs out from under one of the guys.” And that was when he said it. Jason uttered a phrase so outrageous, so utterly shameless, it can be used only once per life- time, and until then stored in a special box sternly labeled, In case of emergency, break glass. “It’s terrible; it’s right out of a Steven Seagal direct-to-VHS movie,” he admitted, as I coaxed the story out of him again. “Well, I mustered up my army drill sergeant voice and I barked, ‘Motherf*cker! You want a piece of me?’” Jason claims the second it came out of his mouth, he was already embarrassed. Embarrassed in front of what turned out to be teen boys, kids really, who clearly didn’t speak English. They ran off with his phone and Jason found his way back to Brian’s hospital room with a headache, a purple contusion, and a strong will to get his brother well—and the hell out of Asia.”

HumorSteven Seagal
Author:Lucie Amundsen
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“...at Warner Brothers, the casting debate for the bad guy’s off-sider continued unabated. Jon Peters suggested Gary Busey. Now Gary was the villain’s off-sider in Under Siege, and was killed at the end of that movie when he was hit by a 16-inch shell from the USS Missouri while in a submarine. The scene seemed to leave little chance that he could have survived. Jon was undeterred by this and suggested we give him a scar. He then went ahead and unilaterally made Gary an offer. It turned out that Seagal had a clause in his contract that gave him right of approval over decisions concerning the key cast members, and he regarded this as such a decision. He was enraged: his contract had been violated by Jon’s unilateral action. He had been fighting with Jon over a number of issues for some time and had had enough — it was time for a showdown.”

BtsUnder Siege1995Steven SeagalJon Peters
Book:Geoff Murphy: A Life on Film - I'm taking this bloody car to Invercargill
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“Maybe we communicate with ducks not through words, but with body language. Maybe the word quack doesn’t mean everything—or even anything. Maybe all that matters is what our body says when we converse with a duck.”

LanguageCommunicationConversationDucksDuckBody LanguageQuack
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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