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Quote by Charmaine J. Forde

“When do I stop saving for that rainy day my parents told me about fifty years ago? 'Cause it has been raining buckets for awhile”

Quote by Charmaine J. Forde

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Charmaine J. Forde

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“Those raised poorly end up hating their parents. They hate them until they realize... they could not help themselves. Just like us, they fall short. By honoring our parents, we honor the humanity in ourselves, and learn to not only forgive them, but also ourselves for having judged them so harshly.”

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“When we consider the major role intimidation plays in this ideology, which was still at the peak of its popularity at the turn of the century, it is not surprising that Sigmund Freud had to conceal his surprising discovery of adults' sexual abuse of their children, a discovery he was led to by the testimony of his patients. He disguised his insight with the aid of a theory that nullified this inadmissible knowledge. Children of his day were not allowed, under the severest of threats, to be aware of what adults were doing to them. and if Freud had persisted in his seduction theory, he not only would have had his introjected parents to fear but would no doubt have been discredited, and probably ostracized, by middle-class society. In order to protect himself, he had to devise a theory that would preserve appearances by attributing all “evil”, guilt and wrongdoing to the child's fantasies. in which the parents served only as the objects of projection. We can understand why this theory omitted the fact that it is the parents who not only project their sexual and aggressive fantasies onto the child but also are able to act out these fantasies because they wield the power. It is probably thanks to this omission that many professionals in the psychiatric field, themselves the products of "poisonous pedagogy" have been able to accept the Freudian theory of drives, because it did not force them to question their idealized image of their parents. With the aid of Freud's drive and structural theories, they have been able to continue obeying the commandment they internalized in early childhood: "Thou shalt not be aware of what your parents are doing to you.”

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Book:For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
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