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Quote by Mike Lew

“Another question I am frequently asked is, "What do you mean by recovery?" It has taken me a while to answer that one. I had been depending on other people's definitions of recovery until I developed one that worked for me (just as you must come to one that makes sense for you.) Mine is simple. For me, it is about freedom. Recovery is the freedom to make choices in your life that aren't determined by the abuse. The specific choices will be different for each of you; the freedom to choose is your birthright.”

Quote by Mike Lew

Book:Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse
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Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse

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Mike Lew

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“In my view, the spurning of DID is highly connected with knowing and not knowing about child sexual abuse. Side by side with denial of childhood trauma and of severe dissociation, is an unmistakable cognizance of dissociative processes as they are embedded in our language. We regularly say things such as, "pull yourself together", "he is coming unglued", "she was beside herself", "don't fall apart", "he's not all there", "she was shattered", and so on.”

DenialDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationChild Sexual AbuseSociety DenialMental Health StigmaDissociative DisorderDdnosInvalidationDissociative States
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“Memory repression thrives in shame, secrecy, and shock. The shame and degradation experienced during sexual assault is profound, especially for children who have no concept of what is happening to them or why. Sexual abuse is so bizarre and horrible that the frightened child feels compelled to bury the event deep inside his or her mind.”

ShameSexual AbuseRepressionChild Sexual AbuseSexual AssaultRepressed MemoriesDissociative AmnesiaForgetting The PastForgetting The Pain
Book:Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse
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“You can avoid the issues from abuse for only so long. Sooner or later, the problems in your life cause you to either face it or go deeper into denial. Most of you will eventually be forced into admitting that it is indeed the sexual abuse that is the root of your problems. Even then, the tendency will be to ‘forgive and forget’ in the belief that by doing so the pain will be assuaged.”

Sexual AbuseChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsSurvivors Of Abuse
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“Even with my bachelor’s degree, I still felt more comfortable at the strip club than anywhere else. And that feeling hit me the very first time I walked through those doors. While I initially starting dancing to avoid eviction, I stayed because I felt more at home in the strip club than I did in college, at church and at my parent’s. Not only was I accustomed to feeling degraded, I believed I didn’t deserve any better or that any man would treat me better than the men at the club.”

RapeChild Sexual AbuseStrippersSex AbuseExotic Dancers
Book:From Ivy League To Stripper Life: 10 Lessons Learned
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“Those years of anger weren’t just directed inward and towards others, I was also angry with God. As a kid, when I sang songs in the children’s choir and memorized verses in bible study, I was told there was a God who loved and protected us. He was a jealous God and could be angered, yes, but He always showed grace and mercy towards His people. I must not have been one of His people. He never protected me. As a matter of fact, I remember crying and pleading to God to make it stop when I was in DC being raped at five years old. I thought he heard my prayers when I moved to New Jersey. But when the abuse became worse and more frequent, it was easy for me to conclude God’s protection didn’t apply to me.”

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“Sometimes sex is the price that is exacted from her for warmth and attention. And if these sometimes wonderful moments of closeness must coexist with terrifying, confusing moments of abuse, she learns to see the two as parts of the same experience. She grows to think she wanted the incest itself. Because they’ve become enmeshed, she doesn’t know that it was love she wanted, not sex.”

Child Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsIncestHealing InsightsEnmeshed
Book:Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women
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