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Baby Quotes

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Baby Quotes

“Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.”

Thinking Men Giving Heart Stills Night Walks Middle Baby Get Up Bottles Middle Of The Night Diapers

Author:Rita Rudner

“Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.”

Sound Baby Come Up Breathing Diapers

Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist

Source: Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist

“You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?”

Knows Kids Funny Comedy Baby Newspapers Did You Know Diapers Poop

Author:Larry the Cable Guy

“An imaginary baby is so much easier than a real baby. No diapers to change.”

Real Baby Easier Imaginary Diapers

Author:Sufjan Stevens

“How to fold a diaper depends on the size of the baby and the diaper.”

Baby Depends Size Folds Diapers

Book:The Pocket Book of Baby and Child Care

Source: The Pocket Book of Baby and Child Care

“Our natural reason looks at marriage and turns up its nose and says, Alas! Must I rock the baby? wash its diapers? make its bed? smell its stench? stay at nights with it? take care of it when it cries? heal its rashes and sores? and on top of that care for my spouse, provide labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that? do this and do that? and endure this and endure that? Why should I make such a prisoner of myself?”

Should Looks Reason Care Night Turns Natural Rocks Cry Baby Bed Labor Trade Endure Smell Take Care Heal Noses Prisoner Should I Spouse Alas Diapers

Author:Elisabeth Elliot

“Suddenly we have a baby who poops and cries, and we are trying to calm, clean up, and pin things together all at once. Then as fast as we learn to cope--so soon--it is hard to recall why diapers ever seemed so important. The frontiers change, and now perhaps we have a teenager we can't reach.”

Trying Important Hard Together Cry Baby Clean Calm Teenager Recalls Frontiers Pins Diapers Poop

Author:Polly Berrien Berends

“The first time I tried to put a new diaper on my baby, I yanked the little Velcro strap too jerkily and actually punched the little guy in the jaw. A real solid shot, too. I knew instinctively that this could not be correct. Unless you're specifically trying to raise a welterweight, continual deliverance of powerful uppercuts is not advised when handling newborns.”

Trying Firsts Littles Real Guy Powerful Baby Shots First Time Raises Deliverance My Baby Diapers Velcro

Author:Paul Reiser

“I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited. And I felt closer to other women - to my sisters, to my mom. I felt empowered, like, 'I've given birth. I did it! There's nothing I can't handle.' I've really enjoyed this time that I have taken to be with Suri, as well as the challenges of the first couple of months: feeding and pumping, learning to decipher what each cry means - is she hungry? Is she tired? Does she need a fresh diaper? - and figuring out how to really help her.”

“My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have it be a joke. I start the lyric in a male-register and a whole coloratura up into a soprano. And other points in the show... like the guy who likes to be treated like a baby and wear a diaper!”

Men Whole Shows Guy Roles Baby Jokes Sight Males Likes Treated Register Diapers Sopranos Gags

Author:Max von Essen

“You know that you wouldn't take a baby on a plane without diapers, so when you leave your house, take care of you, like you would a baby. Don't leave your house without packing some healthy things.”

Knows Care House Like You Baby Healthy Take Care Planes Diapers Packing

Author:Sandra Cisneros

“As one does with a first child, I found out that my baby could roll by hearing the sound of her body hit the ground at 4 a.m. and obviously, for any new parent, that is the most horrifying thing that could happen, right? You're exhausted and you take your tiny little baby out and you put them on the bed to change diapers before nursing and you turn around and you discover... my baby can roll! And you think you're going to die.”

Thinking Firsts Children Littles Doe Body Happens Dies Turns Found Parent Sound Baby Bed Hearing Tiny Exhausted Nursing My Baby Diapers New Parents

Author:Uma Thurman

“I was raised as a red diaper baby.”

Baby Red Raised Diapers

Author:Murray Bookchin

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”

Thinking Baby Mom Spells My Baby Diapers Baby Boy New Baby New Baby Boy My Baby Boy

Author:Marshall McLuhan