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Baby Quotes

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Baby Quotes

“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?”

Knows Comedy Baby Clean Smell Shirts Cleaning Did You Know

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“I think I'm an abstinence symbol. If I take my shirt off, people will not have babies.”

People Ifs Thinking Baby Symbols Shirts Abstinence Shirt Off

Author:Jesse Eisenberg

“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.”

Knows Looks Humor Funny Baby Clean Smell Shirts Yards Spit Wardrobe Cleaners Did You Know Spit Up

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!”

People Ifs Should Littles Views Feet Hair Baby Block Cute Shirts Stomach Spares Belly Tire Tractors

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“I gotta lose weight. I got stretch marks on my stomach and I never had a baby. So now when I take off my shirt in front of women, I tell them I was attacked by a mountain lion.”

Loses Fronts Baby Mountain Weight Mark Shirts Stomach Lions Lose Weight Stretch Marks

Author:Felipe Esparza

“Mac [Barnett] and I prank each other during our presentation. We show baby pictures of each other looking completely ridiculous. I can't believe the frilly shirt that I'm in, and Mac's wearing a sailor suit and playing a toy piano. That's a perfect example of a good prank, where we have three hundred people literally laughing in our faces, three hundred kids at every assembly. And it feels really good. It's really fun.”

People Feels Believe I Can Shows Kids Faces Three Fun Perfect Laughing Example Baby Hundred Ridiculous Suits Piano Shirts Toys Presentation Assembly Sailor Macs Pranks Baby Pictures

Author:Jory John

“Danse Russe If I when my wife is sleeping and the baby and Kathleen are sleeping and the sun is a flame-white disc in silken mists above shining trees,-- if I in my north room dance naked, grotesquely before my mirror waving my shirt round my head and singing softly to myself: "I am lonely, lonely. I was born to be lonely, I am best so!" If I admire my arms, my face, my shoulders, flanks, buttocks against the yellow drawn shades,-- Who shall say I am not the happy genius of my household?”

“Paris answered for him. "Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again." "I'm surprised you didn't mention the part where you fainted," Lucien said wryly. Strider chortled. "Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!" "Hey," Paris said, frowning at Lucien. "I told you I hit my head midflash." Lucien”

Men Said Hard Lasts Baby Spread Hey Paris Shirts Sense Of Humor Laughed Last Time Frowning Strider

Book:The Darkest Kiss

Source: The Darkest Kiss