“Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.” MenLongWantedFunnyHoursChanceCasesDarknessRiskConditionsDangerousMonthsColdFameDiseaseSmartLowsExtremesAccidentsCleverLabourBrutalWagesLimbsHazardsExpeditionsGreat RiskLong Hours Author:Ernest Shackleton
“Did you hear this big scandal? Eight female badminton players were expelled from the Olympics for trying to lose on purpose. So tragically, they'll never have another chance to play badminton unless they get invited to a picnic.” TryingPlayBigsFunnyPurposeLosesChancePlayerFemaleEightOlympicsInvitedScandalPicnicsAnother ChanceLondon OlympicsBadminton Author:Conan O'Brien
“When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!"” WayPersonsHelpingHumorHandsRunningFunnyChanceFireFiguresBearsAuthorityMy FriendsWoodsIntenseForestsRanAcidSwearingForest FiresAuthority Figures Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.” HumorFunnyChanceGreaterDrivingChicksTammy Author:Adam Carolla