“If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we'd rather be alive and have the bad image.” IfsHumorFunnyChoicesAliveHumorousIsrael Book:As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister
“Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!” PeopleKnowsSometimesHumorKidsSchoolFunnyChoicesCarYeahDrivingDrunkCopDrunk Driving Author:Dave Attell
“What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!” IfsWholeShowsHumorFunnyChoicesDoorsWallSittingTrainPrizeLockedMultipleToiletsSlidesAnything GoesQuizMultiple ChoiceUnveilingQuiz Show Author:Frankie Boyle
“I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'” MenWellsHumorBigsEyeRunningFunnyNightChoicesCausesHurtDealsMiddleHugeBedBiggerPopsBedroomDaddyMiddle Of The NightBoogie Author:Adam Ferrara