“Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."” WorldLooksKindDoeTwoHumorFunnyFightingAnimalStupidBearsCitizensMessagesFruitStealingFlagsAnthemImitatingWild AnimalNational AnthemPineapplesBelarus Author:Bill Bailey
“Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.” IfsWantHumorFunnyCitizensOfficeBaseballSundayTicketsSeniorSenior Citizen Author:Jerry Coleman
“I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.” HumorWantedFunnyBeautifulWifeCitizensLoving Wife Author:Emo Philips
“I believe in a reasonable amount of "right to bear arms". But private citizens of the United States are not allowed to own nuclear weapons. I always wanted a nuclear weapon, if I could have gotten one. I'm every other kind of power, but I'm not a nuclear power.” IfsBelieveKindStatesWantedFunnyI BelieveUnitedUnited StatesArmsBearsAmountCitizensWeaponsSmartI Believe InNuclearCleverIf I CouldReasonableNuclear WeaponsRight To Bear ArmsNuclear Power Author:Ted Turner
“A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.” FunnyAmericaPoliticalFightingFreedomDemocracyStreetsCitizensOceanHumorousCrossesVoteElectionVotingCitizenshipElection DayVoting And DemocracyDemocracy In AmericaElections And VotingModern Warfare 2Political Jokes Author:Bill Vaughan