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Deals Quotes

“If the gods have no sense of humor they must weep a great deal.”

Ifs Humor Deals Sense Of Humor

Author:Pearl Mary Teresa Craigie

“It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever.”

Way Trying Humor Funny Guy Deals Effects Drinking Snowball Snowball Effect

Author:Denis Leary

“Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.”

Knows Years Said Ends Humor Funny My Own Deals Know How Four Crazy Fronts Years Ago Misery Workers Bread Four Years Pizza My Own Life Ankles Huts Co Worker

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'”

Men Wells Humor Bigs Eye Running Funny Night Choices Causes Hurt Deals Middle Huge Bed Bigger Pops Bedroom Daddy Middle Of The Night Boogie

Author:Adam Ferrara

“My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.”

“I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.”

Humor Age Funny Deals Birth Guarantees Relaxed Guarantees That Certificates Unwritten Birth Certificate

Book:Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

Source: Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

“At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.”

Humor Funny Deals Talking Mom My Mom Substance Factories Exes Abusers Substance Abuse

Author:George Lopez

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”

People Want Humor Women Inspiring Deals Trouble Jane Save Me Liking Someone

Author:Jane Austen

“Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.”

Wells Helping Shows Feelings Humor Might Pain Stuff Goal Deals Audience Week Events Laughter Program Decided Heal Beneficial Funny Stuff

Author:Allen Klein

“Learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”