“The first thing I do when I come home is check the refrigerator for cats because I'm convinced that if one dies, my husband will hide it in there because I don't cook and so I won't see it. I do drink Cokes, though ,so technically he should hide the corpse in the oven. And now I need to start checking the oven.” IfsNeedsShouldFirstsHomeDiesDrinkHusbandCatConvincedChecksCooksMy HusbandComing HomeCorpsesCokeRefrigeratorsOvens Author:Jenny Lawson
“A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.” DiesWatchesDogPercentCatCancerReportsAccuracyProstateProstate Cancer Author:Conan O'Brien
“The reason some crime writers have a chip on their shoulder about the label is because their good books are shelved beside books about nuns and birdwatchers and cats who solve crimes. Overseas, my books are reviewed alongside those of authors like Robert Stone and Don DeLillo, and I have to live and die by that comparison. They don't ghettoize crime writers in other countries, and of course they shouldn't.” BookCountryReasonDiesCoursesCrimeStonesCatSolveShouldersLabelsComparisonOther CountriesChipsGood BookNun Author:George Pelecanos
“We are like dogs, cats, cows, rats ... What separates us from them and from the remaining matches against mammals is negligible. To have the same diseases. Rats spread plague like us, but we are just as contagious as them. And the dogs get diabetes, like we do, and get cancer, like us. And age, like us. And die, like us. Why then the biblical claim that man is the king of creation? Perhaps because only man has developed spoken language, the words, wherein lies its prodigious ability to lie.” MenAgeLyingDiesLanguageAbilityDogCreationKingsDiseaseCatClaimsCancerSpreadCowsBiblicalRatsPlagueContagiousDiabetesMammalsProdigiousSpoken Language Author:Fernando Vallejo