Best Douches Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“Spezia offered Leopold almost nothing: his precocity devoured itself there, rejecting the steep sunny coast and nibbling blue edge of the sea that had drowned Shelley. His spirit became crustacean under douches of culture and mild philosophic chat from his Uncle Dee, who was cultured rather than erudite.”

Douches Crustacean

Book:The House In Paris

Source: The House In Paris

“When do you stop to de-douche?”

Douches

Author:Anthony Bourdain

“April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.”

Ifs Giving Should Given Trouble Advice Months Taxes Corporations Bags April Accountants Filing Douches Douche Bag

Author:Ed Helms

“It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then?”

Want Play Fun Good Times Now And Then Jerk Douches

Author:Rob Riggle

“Romance is the douche of the bourgeoisie.”

Romance Bourgeoisie Douches

Author:David Berman

“People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I know what goes on down there, because I'm a huge douche.'”

People Knows Said Huge Goes On Trump Periods Jokes Mad Trust Me Douches

Author:Conan O'Brien

“I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.”

Thinking Married Douches

Author:Aisha Tyler

“Not all who drink energy drinks are douches, but all douches drink energy drinks.”

Energy Drink Douches Energy Drink

Author:Alison Rosen

“I may be a douche to some people, but I actually do run companies.”

People May Running Company Douches

Author:Scott Disick

“I love that, for Kanye [West], there's no difference between the epic and the personal. That makes him sound like a really grandiose douche - which, I don't think anyone, himself included, could contest - but at the same time, it's really amazing. I love the scope of his perfectionism.”

Thinking Sound Differences West Epic Contests Scope Perfectionism Really Amazing Grandiose Douches

Author:David Longstreth

“Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand.”

Hands Father Bags Douches Douche Bag

Author:Becca Fitzpatrick

“Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken. "Aughh!" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags." "Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name." [That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.]”

“Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.”

Leader Achieve Cult Juice Megalomaniacs Douches

Author:Kevin Hearne

“you're smart, pretty, and you aren't a douche purse.”

Smart Purses Douches

Book:The White Rabbit Chronicles: Alice in Zombieland\Through the Zombie Glass\The Queen of Zombie Hearts

Source: The White Rabbit Chronicles: Alice in Zombieland\Through the Zombie Glass\The Queen of Zombie Hearts

“And he paddled away in his douche canoe.”

Douches

Author:Joe Hill

“Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars.”

Attention Car Memorable Bags Justin Douches Douche Bag

Author:Corey Taylor

“I got a long road ahead of me to make people believe i'm not actually a huge douche...”

People Believe Long Huge Conceited Long Road Douches

Author:Kanye West

“When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.”

People Knows Fall Fronts Married Lifetime Falling In Love Committed Bags Neighborhood Lawns Getting Married Retarded Douches Tardiness Douche Bag

Author:Dane Cook

“Yeah Jesus could turn water in to wine, but he didn't share. Douche.”

Turns Jesus Water Share Yeah Wine Drunk Douches

Author:Anthony Langston

“Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'”

People Thinking Feels Years Whole Seems Past Comfortable Douches

Author:Zach Braff

“Gentlemen, a depression is for capitalism like a good, cold douche.”

Cold Capitalism Gentleman Douches

Author:Joseph A. Schumpeter