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Grief And Loss Quotes

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Grief And Loss Quotes

“It's impossible to explain this feeling. No words to express the pain of losing the one person who loved you most in the world. No way to describe the devastation in knowing no one will ever love you that way again. If you've never lost a parent, you won't understand. But Jax does. Because Jax has. I stay strong in the face of everyone else, but for him, I can break. And I do. Over and over, I break.”

“Grief isn’t linear. It comes in waves. Some are tsunamis—early on, most of them are. They knock your legs away again and again and again. You never have time to get back to your feet. Over time, the waves get smaller. It doesn’t get easier, just more manageable—but right after you lose someone, where you’re learning your new reality without them in it, it’s like being on the beach as a little kid, and you see the water coming, and you know that no matter what you do, you can’t get out of the way in time. What people don’t tell you is that sometimes, the waves can get real big again for no reason. They come out of nowhere and steal your breath, and it hurts just as bad, even after years. Decades.”

“After Rose, I had so much guilt and it simmered for a long time, until after Sarah left, and it started boiling until my head became a pressure cooker, my body vibrating with energy that had no outlet. Until I cross-threaded a screw while I was fixing the bay door at the Firehouse, and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I lost my fucking mind, that way you do when it’s been building for too long, and when you finally snap, it’s at something you can’t realistically blame or punish, like an inopportune papercut, hitting your head on a cupboard door, or trying to put your jacket on, but your sleeve is inside out so your arm gets stuck.”

“So, imagine we're all born with a set of feelings. Some are broader or deeper than others, but for everyone, there's that ground floor, a bottom crust of the pie. That's the maximum depth of feeling you've ever experienced. And then, the worst thing happens to you. The very worst thing that could have happened. The thing you had nightmares about as a child, and you thought, it's all right because that thing will happen to me when I'm older and wiser, and I'll have telt so many feelings by then that this one worst feeling, the worst possible feeling won't seem so terrible. *But it happens to you when you're young. It happens when your brain isn't even fully done cooking when you've barely experienced anything, really. The worst thing is one of the first big things that ever happens to you in your life. It happens to you, and it goes all the way down to the bottom of what you know how to feel, and it rips it open and carves out this chasm down below to make room. And because you were so young, and because it was one of the first big things to happen in your lite, you'll always carry it inside you. Every time something terrible happens to you from then on, it doesn't just stop at the bottom - it goes all the way down." She reaches across the tiny tea table and the sad little pile of water crackers and touches the back of Alex's hand "Do you understand?" she asks him, looking right into his eyes. "You need to understand this to be with Henry. He is the most loving, nurturing, selfless person you could hope to meet, but there is a sadness and a hurt in him that is tremendous, and you may very well never truly understand it, but you need to love it as much as you love the rest of him, because that's him. That is him, part and parce. And he is prepared to live it all to you, which is far more than I ever, in a thousand years, thought I would see him do.”

“So, imagine we're all born with a set of feelings. Some are broader or deeper than others, but for everyone, there's that ground floor, a bottom crust of the pie. That's the maximum depth of feeling you've ever experienced. And then, the worst thing happens to you. The very worst thing that could have happened. The thing you had nightmares about as a child, and you thought, it's all right because that thing will happen to me when I'm older and wiser, and I'll have telt so many feelings by then that this one worst feeling, the worst possible feeling won't seem so terrible. *But it happens to you when you're young. It happens when your brain isn't even fully done cooking when you've barely experienced anything, really. The worst thing is one of the first big things that ever happens to you in your life. It happens to you, and it goes all the way down to the bottom of what you know how to feel, and it rips it open and carves out this chasm down below to make room. And because you were so young, and because it was one of the first big things to happen in your lite, you'll always carry it inside you. Every time something terrible happens to you from then on, it doesn't just stop at the bottom - it goes all the way down." She reaches across the tiny tea table and the sad little pile of water crackers and touches the back of Alex's hand "Do you understand?" she asks him, looking right into his eyes. "You need to understand this to be with Henry. He is the most loving, nurturing, selfless person you could hope to meet, but there is a sadness and a hurt in him that is tremendous, and you may very well never truly understand it, but you need to love it as much as you love the rest of him, because thare him. That is him, part and parce. And he is prepared to live it all to you, which is far more than I ever, in a thousand years, thought I would see him do.”

“Grief is the beast with the sharpest claws. It’s sacred. It’s consuming. It’s unstoppable. You, my rarest reader, must already fathom how it cannot be cast aside or defeated, for this book would not have found you otherwise. The beast will wound you deeply. There will be times when you are certain it will kill you. And yet, you will endure. Until the pain you deemed a punishment becomes your reward, guiding you to a realm of peace that will be only yours and yours alone – just as the beast that delivered you there. Excerpt from The Book of Revenge, Müneccimbaşı Sufi Chelebi’s Journals of Mystical Phenomena”

“If I am on the move and not in one place, then I can perhaps outrun myself. If I linger, then like dark flies on a dead deer, the memories and thoughts land and terror seems to fester and pull me in. I cannot bear to be at [home], where too many people will be watching me, waiting for something to happen, waiting for me to sink or swim, when all I want to do is float, as I did in hospital when the present was held at bay.”

“¿Quién soy yo para buscarte así, Cobain, incluso si la cartomancia seguramente sea placebo? ¿Quién soy yo para darte ese lugar de padre y de guía y de rey sucio al que obedeceré siempre con la parte más triste de mí? No soy nadie y, sin embargo, lo lloro y le escribo, finalmente, esta declaración desorbitada, de fuego fatuo, instigando más vergüenza porque la realidad es que quisiera parar, pero solo sé escribir.”

“Only the loss remains which can never be recuperated. The event is over. The event has been overcome and yet the loss is only beginning. Every day it grows deeper. More and more is forgotten. Less and less is really known for certain. And nothing will ever bring his father back from the realm of memory into the reassuringly concrete world of material fact. Tangible and specific fact. And how - how is it possible to accept this or even to understand what it means?”

“Grief cannot be fixed because it is not a problem to solve; it is a deep emotional response to loss. The idea of 'healing' from grief often feels inadequate because it suggests an end point, a time when the pain will disappear. But the truth is, we don't heal from grief in the traditional sense. Instead, we heal through grief. We allow ourselves to feel the waves of sorrow, to confront the emptiness, and to adapt to life without the person we have lost.”

“That’s why I started writing this story. Those things were just so heavy. It was impossible to carry around all by myself, my real father, Ray’s abuse, your death, so I took them and wrote them down. I edited them and changed the words around, shaping them into something whole. And then I printed them out onto a page, closed the book, and put it on a shelf. And if someone else read my words, then it meant that I wasn’t alone.”

“Mama always told me that secrets come out after sundown. She said that when the darkness of night crept into the corners of my room oily shadows would unfurl themselves from under my bed, while the crows sleeping in the tree outside my window would flutter to the pane’s sharp edge to tap at the cracks in the casement, and the monster in my closet would sigh, opening its eyes before it scratched at the closet door. I’d only have to be quiet and listen.”

“The connections we share with one another—the ones that mean the most to us—are never truly severed. Not across time, nor distance, nor death, even. The heaviness in your chest, that ache you feel right now, I like to believe that the strength of that emotion extends outward to somewhere far beyond us, touching those we’re missing in some way . . . wherever they are.”

“I think you’re confusing the opposite of love with hurt.” “No,” I disagreed. “I know the opposite of love is hate.” “No,” he replied with a headshake. “The opposite of love is indifference. The feeling of emptiness. That’s what the opposite of love is. Love allows you space to feel everything—joy, bliss, sorrow, and pain. Grief is love, Avery. Love and grief go hand in hand.” “Why is that?” “Because grief is the realization that you could care for another so deeply. That your heart could shatter a million ways, all due to how much you adored another. Being able to feel so deeply is a gift, baby girl. It’s the indifference, the inability to feel, that is the curse.” “It’s scary to feel grief…” “It’s even scarier to feel nothing.”