“Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.” PeopleFeelsImportantMotivationalFunnyForgetBusinessWords Of WisdomMessagesPraiseAppreciationInvisibleNecksNever ForgetFunny InspirationalHanging AroundSmall Business Owners Author:Mary Kay Ash
“Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.” PeopleSometimesStoriesFunnyMessagesMadCelebrationSubversiveFunny Story Author:Matt Groening
“Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."” WorldLooksKindDoeTwoHumorFunnyFightingAnimalStupidBearsCitizensMessagesFruitStealingFlagsAnthemImitatingWild AnimalNational AnthemPineapplesBelarus Author:Bill Bailey
“This was my attempt to deter cold callers: "There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone."” HumorFunnyPastColdPleaseMessagesToneJust One Author:Bill Bailey
“Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."” ShouldFunnyComedyCuttingCallingMessagesMachinesFreakAnswering Machines Author:Jim Gaffigan
“And there's no "I love you" message because Steve Ovett has married the girl” InspirationalFunnyGirlLove YouMarriedMessagesEntertainingAthleticsBloopers Author:David Coleman
“Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.” WorldNeedsWisdomTruthFunnyPeaceTelevisionSourceOffersMessagesBreathsTeethTeenagerGuidanceComparisonPaleToothpaste Author:Dave Barry