“Here's good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? ... President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun” WellsMatterFactsTodayFightingPresidentSunNewsYeahCommittedGlobal WarmingTroopsGood NewsPresident BushBudMatter Of FactBuckles Author:David Letterman
“Some good news. Finally, President Bush is going to do something about global warming. He became alarmed when another chunk of ice fell off his mother.” MotherPresidentNewsIceGlobal WarmingGood NewsPresident BushChunks Author:David Letterman
“New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President Bush like he's an infallible king, they need to start addressing him as if he was an infallible king. And they can do this by addressing him as "my liege".” IfsNeedsPresidentCan DoKingsNewsTreatsEmployeeFoxesPresident BushInfallibleFox News Author:Bill Maher
“In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war in Iraq, he didn't expect President Bush to 'f--- it up as badly as he did.' Here's some breaking news, tomorrow former Vice President Al Gore expected to endorse Howard Dean as the Democratic nominee for president of the United States - and you thought John Kerry was using four letter words before! Actually, to John Kerry, Dean is a four letter word.” SaidWarStatesRunningPresidentUnitedUnited StatesFourTomorrowNewsStonesLettersDemocraticIraqVicesExpectedFormerInterviewsAlsRollingSenatorsPresident BushGoreDeanVice PresidentRolling StonesJohn KerryFour Letter WordsBreaking News Author:Jay Leno
“Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick?” KnowsPresidentNewsSickPresident BushPassed AwayBlair Author:Jay Leno
“Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.” JobsHousePresidentWhiteCreatingNewsWhite HouseGood NewsPresident BushNew Job Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush's emergency declaration for the State of Texas is great news for the people and communities that have experienced the devastating wildfires firsthand. Already, communities have rallied to help neighbors in need.” PeopleNeedsStatesHelpingPresidentCommunityNewsNeighborTexasDeclarationEmergenciesPresident BushWildfiresGreat News Author:Randy Neugebauer
“Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob.” WarHousePresidentDifferencesWhiteChangedNewsOfficialsWhite HouseBobSchedulesPresident BushSponges Author:Conan O'Brien