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“This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.”

“Big banks churn out page after page of incomprehensible fine print to obscure the cost and risks of checking accounts, credit cards, mortgages and other financial products. The result is that consumers can't make direct product comparisons, markets aren't competitive, and costs are higher. If the playing field is leveled and the broken market fixed, a lot more money will stay in the pockets of millions of hard-working families. That's real stimulus - money to families, without increasing our national debt.”

“The business plan should address: "How will I get customers? How will I market the product or service? Who will I target?" The principles of a business plan are pretty much the same. But after page one to two, everything is unpredictable, because costs or competition will change and you don't know how things will be received by the market. You have to be able to continually adapt. Companies that fail to adapt will die. Others are brilliant at adapting.”

“In fact, somebody keeps putting on my Wikipedia page that I'm either Don Pardo's son or grandson. I had an audition recently where the woman said, "I understand that you're Don Pardo's grandson," and I said, "No, I am not." And you should have seen the look of disappointment on her face. It may have cost me the job. It was that devastating to her that I wasn't related to Don Pardo.”

“What would you do if you were me? Tell me. Please tell me! But you're far from this. Your fingers turn the strangeness of these pages that somehow connect my life to yours. Your eyes are safe. The story is just another few hundred pages of your mind. For me, it's here. It's now. I have to go through with this, considering the cost at every turn. Nothing will be the same.”