“I was talking to a friend about Santorum. He said, 'For all my years in the State Department, I know one thing. Terrorists, what they fear most is a guy in a sweater vest.'” KnowsYearsSaidStatesGuyTalkingOne ThingTerroristDepartmentSweatersVestsSweater Vests Author:David Letterman
“Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because "the states could do a gooder job.” IfsSaidStatesJobsPresidentDepartmentEliminating Author:Jay Leno
“Texas Senator Ted Cruz said if elected president he would abolish the Department of Education. But not to worry. He promised to replace it with the less expensive Bureau of Book Learning.” IfsSaidBookPresidentWorryExpensiveDepartmentTexasSenatorsAbolishCruzBook Learning Author:Conan O'Brien
“As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.” KnowsWorldMaySaidFunnyForceNumbersClassGroupsPoliceHillsCaliforniaToneFancyDepartmentPolice ForceBeverly HillsPolice DepartmentSnobbishHigh Class Author:Jack Benny