“President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touching show of support, every foreign dignitary shook hands with the president and smiled warmly as he mispronounced their names.” ShowsHumorHandsFunnyNamesNationsPresidentUnitedSupportSpeechTouchingUnited NationsPresident BushAssemblyGeneral Assembly Author:Tina Fey
“During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.” ImportantCountryStatesWholeFunnyMovingGrowthUnitedUnited StatesEconomicInternetCreatingEnvironmentalCongressEducationalProtectionImprovementMoving ForwardOur CountryRangeInitiativeProvenEconomic GrowthGoreEducational SystemEnvironmental Protection Author:Al Gore
“The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to be tasteful here - is that sometimes it seems like maybe the president of the United States is kind of dumb. If you get what I mean. What I mean is, I am not totally confident that the president would get what I mean, unless several aides explained it to him. And even then, he might forget.” IfsTryingKindMeanSometimesStatesSeemsMightFunnyPresidentForgetUnitedUnited StatesIssuesDumbSensitiveReluctantCondomReaganomics Author:Dave Barry
“Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.” SaidStatesFunnyRememberPresidentUnitedUnited StatesHellPolicyTelevisionFaultsIranForeign PolicyScandalNever EndingReaganomicsIran Contra Book:Dave Barry Turns Forty Source: Dave Barry Turns Forty
“The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.” HumorFunnyJobsTurnsNationsUnitedWorstFieldsThousandMassGravesOne TimeUnited NationsCarrotsSnowman Author:Milton Jones
“I believe in a reasonable amount of "right to bear arms". But private citizens of the United States are not allowed to own nuclear weapons. I always wanted a nuclear weapon, if I could have gotten one. I'm every other kind of power, but I'm not a nuclear power.” IfsBelieveKindStatesWantedFunnyI BelieveUnitedUnited StatesArmsBearsAmountCitizensWeaponsSmartI Believe InNuclearCleverIf I CouldReasonableNuclear WeaponsRight To Bear ArmsNuclear Power Author:Ted Turner