“I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.” IfsShouldRichWifeMinutesLegsStrikesHouseholdChoresButlersDishwashersWomen BashingJeevesHousehold Chores Author:Scott Adams
“If anyone can show me ... that there is any reason - other than fear - to believe in any version of an afterlife, I'll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife.” IfsGivingBelieveReasonShowsWifeLegsMy WifeVersionsPianoAfterlifeShow Me Author:Tim Minchin