“Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.” GodWifeMachinesStupidityStoresDirtyWashingKentuckyAppliancesWashing MachinesDirty Work Author:Dave Barry
“There is a story in the book Night Shift, called 'The Mangler,' about a laundry machine that takes on a sort of malignant life. I worked in a laundry for about a year and a half after I got out of college. It was the only job I could find to support my wife and our first child. There was a fellow there that had no hands or forearms. He simply had hooks. This is one of the things that they don't tell you about when you become management. You have to wear a tie. It was this fellow's tie that did him in.” YearsFirstsChildrenBookStoriesHandsJobsNightHalfSupportWifeCollegeMachinesManagementFellowsMy WifeTiesHookLaundryNight Shift Author:Stephen King
“I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.” AliveWifeJokesMachinesMy WifeRefrigerators Book:It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“I remember a few years ago I was sitting at home with my wife watching the Oscars. I was sitting on the couch and suddenly heard my voice. It's thrilling. It's interesting that a lot of guys do me. I have a friend who does me on his answering machine so when I call him I talk to myself. I don't really know what that comes from. It doesn't seem to me that I speak in a strange way. My wife says Kevin's (Spacey) the best.” KnowsWayYearsDoeHomeSeemsRememberGuySpeakVoiceInterestingWifeHeardStrangeSittingYears AgoMachinesMy WifeOscarsThrillingCouchesKevinAnswering Machines Author:Christopher Walken
“A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you how much you'll save. It'll be tremendous. Said my wife: I'm sure you're right, but we're already saving a fortune with our new car by not taking the bus. We're saving a fortune with our new washing machine by not sending out the laundry. We're saving a fortune with our new dishwasher by giving up the maid. The plain truth is that right now we just can't afford to save any more!” GivingSaidI CanWifeCarRight NowTruth IsGiving UpMachinesBillsSellsFortuneMy WifeSavingBusWashingSalesmanMaidsLaundryNew CarDishwashersFreezerWashing Machines Author:Joey Bishop
“I'm human viagra. I'm Willagra. I'm a sex machine now. I'm raring to go every second of the day. My wife's loving it.” HumansBodySexWifeTrainingMachinesMy WifeIntenseEvery SecondViagraPhysical Training Author:Will Smith