“I guess I am just not the marrying type. I have given it a few chances, and it just goes haywire after a month or two. I am on wife number five right now, maybe five's a charm?” TwoGivenChanceNumbersFiveWifeTypeMonthsRight NowCharmMarrying Author:Vince Neil
“I said to my wife just the other day, I was actually taking some time to consider all the blessings in my life and that things are really good. I said, you would have to be a real churl to complain about the life I'm living right now. Everything's going great. I'm having a good time.” SaidRealWifeRight NowBlessingMy WifeComplainingGood TimesHaving A Good TimeLiving RightLiving Right Now Author:Tracy Letts
“The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can be when they realize that wives can't be forced to testify against their husbands. Skilling said today she was the best secretary Enron had ever had. She could shred 950 words a minute. ... I guess they are on their honeymoon right now. That's going pretty well. Hey, he's used to screwing Enron employees.” WellsSaidTodayUsedGuyRealizingWifeWeekMinutesRight NowHusbandMarriedHeyEmployeeSecretaryCeoHoneymoonEnron Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise $80 million before the Democratic convention. That's a lot of money. Yeah, Kerry has two ways to raise the $80 million: soliciting Democratic donors and going through his wife's purse.” WayTryingTwoTodayMillionsWifeRight NowRaisesYeahDemocraticBusyCampaignsConventionsLots Of MoneyTwo WaysPursesJohn KerryDonors Author:Conan O'Brien
“You're sitting there, with your wife and your baby and your smiling dog, and you're watching Real Housewives getting into fistfights on TV. And you go, 'How great is my life? I'm so happy right now.'” RealWifeDogTvsBabyRight NowSittingHousewifeReal Housewives Author:Jimmy Fallon
“I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.” TwoMotherWifeRight NowToughMy WifeFighterBucks Book:It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you how much you'll save. It'll be tremendous. Said my wife: I'm sure you're right, but we're already saving a fortune with our new car by not taking the bus. We're saving a fortune with our new washing machine by not sending out the laundry. We're saving a fortune with our new dishwasher by giving up the maid. The plain truth is that right now we just can't afford to save any more!” GivingSaidI CanWifeCarRight NowTruth IsGiving UpMachinesBillsSellsFortuneMy WifeSavingBusWashingSalesmanMaidsLaundryNew CarDishwashersFreezerWashing Machines Author:Joey Bishop
“Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now.' He didn't need to admit that. He's blind. Could have said it was an accident.” WayNeedsFirstsSaidGuyBlackWifeRight NowBlindMy WifeAccidentsGovernorsCheatedLieutenantsBlack GuysCheated On Author:Greg Fitzsimmons
“Without (my wife) Laurie, I would never be here right now, I know that. I would either be in a coffin, or stashed away doing a life sentence some place. Or running and hiding some place, if I was still alive. I'm certain I wouldn't be playing music. She's just been perfect for me. And she's a protector also; she protects me from myself, from temptations, and bad associations. She's constantly shielding me from walking the red hot coals of existing as a game.” IfsKnowsStillsRunningCertainGamesWomenPerfectAliveWifeWalkingRight NowProtectRedHotSentencesMy WifeTemptationHidingAssociationBad AssCoalPlaying MusicCoffinsProtectorRed HotPerfect For Me Author:Art Pepper
“My personal time is limited, more so than I wish. However, my wife and I have talked about the fact that there are opportunities right now that won't be there forever. For example, when the Grateful Dead offered me to tour in 2004, my first reaction was to say no, I just can't do it. Then my wife said, "Well, let's rethink this. You don't want to look back down the road and say, I could've done that, but I said no." So, we made it work.” WantFirstsWellsLooksMadeSaidDoneFactsOpportunityWishForeverWifeExampleRight NowGratefulMy WifeReactionsMade ItDown The RoadPersonal Time Author:Warren Haynes