“Gorillaz virtually changed my wife...sorry, I mean, life...no, actually, it was my wife.” MeanWifeChangedSorryMy WifeMeaning Life Author:Terry Gilliam
“My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.” PeopleFeelsTryingHumorFunnyWaterWifeLaysSorryMy WifeFatsBeach Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.” KnowsIdeasKidsJobsUsedHouseLostWifeCarDrugBeatsSorryHonestlyAssLaughedGreat TimesVery PopularHad A Great Time Author:Bill Hicks