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This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.

Book by Augusten Burroughs · 40 quotes · Ifs, Thinking, Matter

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AllIfsThinkingMatterMindMomentsPastPeoplePersonsBelieveDoeEmotionFeelingsFeelsGivingKnowsLossShouldYour PastAdmittingAwkward

This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike. Quotes

“Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.”

BelieveMatterHappensMiracleNo Matter WhatBelieve In MiraclesMiracles Do Happen
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“The past does not haunt us. We haunt the past. We allow our minds to focus in that direction. We open memories and examine them. We reexperience emotions we felt during the painful events we experienced because we are recalling them in as much detail as we can.”

MindDoePastFeltMemoriesEmotionFocusEventsPainfulDetails
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool.”

NeedsDreamSkyFingersYour DreamsStringsFollow Your DreamsChase Your DreamsKitesLiving The DreamPinching
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“This is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you.”

MatterLosesBearsAmbitionOvercomingFollowingAbusersLove Your LifeReinventing Yourself
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“I don't believe in the concept of a soul mate. Because we are all unique, but we're also simply too similar.”

BelieveSoulUniqueConceptsDon't BelieveMatesSoul Mate
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Self-pity is the bestiality of emotions: it absolutely disgusts people. When you're feeling pity for yourself, and somebody says to you 'You think maybe it's time for the pity party to be over? You should stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to think positive,' it makes you wish you could saw their head off.”

PeopleThinkingShouldTryingSelfFeelingsWishPartyEmotionSawsSorryPityOver YouDisgustingWish YouSelf PityThink PositiveFeeling SorryFeeling Sorry For YourselfPity PartyStop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping.”

GivingRealEmotionalInvolvedLaborOptimismHousekeepingPepPep Talk
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Do not wait for the healing to arrive. It will never come. The holes will never leave or be filled with anything at all. But holes are interesting things.”

WaitingInterestingHealingFilledHolesInteresting Things
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Long marriages have ended in ruin over tiny and insignificant grievances that were never properly aired and instead grew into a brittle barnacle of hatred.”

LongGrewHatredTinyRuinsInsignificantGrievanceLong MarriageBarnacles
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“But feelings, no matter how strong or “ugly,” are not a part of who you are. They are the radio stations your mind listens to if you don’t give it something better to do. Feelings are fluid and dynamic; they change frequently. Feelings are something you HAVE, not something you ARE. Like physical beauty, a cold sore, or an opinion. Admitting you feel rage or terrible pain or regret or some old, rotten blame does not mean these feelings are part of who you are as a person. What these feelings mean is, you have to change your thinking to be free of them.”

IfsThinkingGivingFeelsMindMeanPersonsDoeMatterFeelingsPainStrongOpinionRegretColdTerribleBlameWho You AreRadioUglyRageStationsRottenSomething BetterFluidAdmittingRadio StationsPhysical Beauty
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life, not your past and not those around you. Part of being in control is taking responsibility for how you feel. This means not just admitting to uncomfortable feelings but then examining your circumstances to see what can be done to change these feelings at the source.”

FeelsMeanDoneFeelingsPastResponsibilitySourceCircumstancesOptimismUncomfortableTaking ResponsibilityYour PastHow You FeelAdmittingExaminingSproutsUncomfortable Feeling
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“No matter your spiritual beliefs, if you hold any, the answer is the same: sometimes, why is not knowable. If you open the refrigerator door and a tub of Kozy Shack tapioca pudding tumbles out and splats open onto the floor, you clean it. You don’t stand there and question why it happened, how it was possible. Why doesn’t matter now.”

IfsSometimesMatterSpiritualBeliefAnswersHappenedDoorsCleanRefrigeratorsPuddingTubsShackSpiritual Beliefs
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Think of the actual physical elements that compose our bodies: we are 98 percent hydrogen and oxygen and carbon. That's table sugar. You are made of the same stuff as table sugar. Just a couple of tiny differences here and there and look what happened to the sugar: it can stand upright and send tweets.”

ThinkingLooksMadeBodyStuffDifferencesHappenedCoupleElementsPercentTablesTinySugarCarbonOxygenHere And ThereTweetHydrogen
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.”

KnowsShouldLosingSomeone You LoveLosing Someone
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“All children should be loved, protected, nurtured --emotionally and intellectually-- respected, and never, under any circumstances, underestimated.”

ShouldChildrenCircumstancesProtectedUnderestimated
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw everybody else. You're not a bottle of Valium.”

PeopleIfsFeelsEnergyCasesPressureFakeRelyBottlesScrewsBeing PositivePositive EnergyValium
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Because here is the truth: If you want to have a chance at meeting somebody with whom you are genuinely compatible, never put your best foot forward.”

IfsWantChanceFeetMeetingsCompatible
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“So we can be filled with holes and loss and wide expanses of unhealed geography - and we can also be excited by life and in love and content at the exact same moment.”

MomentsLossFilledExcitedWideHolesGeographyExpanse
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.”

IfsEnoughLife IsHateHavensFit
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths.”

MomentsFoundPathOffersValuableTreacherous
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you and if so, what they're thinking.”

IfsThinkingInterestReductionThinking About You
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life with somebody.”

PersonsShareShameHungry
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Even painfully shy and awkward people are not painfully shy or awkward when they are alone. The way to access this natural, comfortable alone-self when you are with others is by choosing to forbid yourself to wonder what "they" are thinking. Instead, force yourself to exist in the instant, then take it- and give it- as it comes.”

PeopleThinkingWayGivingSelfForceNaturalWonderComfortableAccessInstantShyAwkward
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.”

PerfectRight ThingAwkwardTimingPausesWrong ThingsPerfect TimingSaying The Wrong Thing
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me." That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.”

PeopleThinkingWorldNeedsFirstsPersonsDesireFiguresFirst Person
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“And I hope she does not live in a dark world. Because even the most terrible loss doesn't have to make you darker; it can make you deeper.”

WorldDoeDarkLossTerribleDeeperDark World
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“Time moves only forward, never back. We look forward to a moment and then it arrives and an instant later it is gone. Like something on the surface of a river that we reached for but did not touch in time and it carried on, away. You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.”

MindLooksMomentsPastMovingGoneRiversSurfaceInstantPrisonerYour PastLike Something
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“And human instinct is ancient and reliable, utterly mysterious and possibly capable of great genius. I believe that refined, fluent instincts are a person's most valuable asset. My own instincts have repeatedly guided me against the grain of logic and probability. When I have trusted and followed their direction, they have never been wrong. I don't know how or why. But I know that every significant experience-positive or negative-sharpens them and makes them more accurate.”

KnowsBelieveHumansPersonsI BelieveMy OwnKnow HowGeniusCapableNegativeLogicInstinctAncientValuableSignificantMysteriousAssetsAccurateGrainTrustedProbabilityRefinedFluentSignificant Experiences
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“No matter how huge your loss, as long as you remain engaged with your life, the best days of your life may still be ahead of you. Don't misunderstand me: the pain of your loss will remain with you for the rest of your life. But great joy will be there right beside it. Deep sorrow and deep joy can exist within you, side by side. At every moment. And it's not confusing. And it's not a conflict.”

MayLongStillsMatterMomentsPainJoySidesLossHugeSorrowConflictEngagedWithin YouConfusingRest Of Your LifeGreat JoyYour LossDeep Sorrow
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever.”

DifferentInspirationAliveGoodbyeSaying Goodbye
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“All improvements, transformations, achievements, liberations; everything you want to change about yourself and your life; everything you want to make happen and any obstacle you want to overcome, any crisis you must survive -- the prerequisite is being able to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel and not pretend to feel something you don't. So the first thing you need to do if you want to truly improve your life, or just survive the worst it has to throw your way, is to go now and stand before your bathroom mirror. And wipe that fucking smile off your face.”

HonestySelf ImprovementAuthenticityEmotional Intelligence
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“It's not such a huge deal when this happens at a 7-Eleven. It's pretty huge, though, when you spend the entire job interview trying not to come across like a box of hair and you come across like a box of hair.”

TrueLolAugusten Burroughs
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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“If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all kinds of mistakes and maybe sometimes they even give you awful advice, but never for one moment do you doubt their love for you--if you have this, you have incredibly good fortune. If you have two parents who love you? You have won life's Lotto. If you do not have parents, or if the parents you have are so broken and so, frankly, terrible that they are no improvement over nothing, this is fine. It's not ideal because it's harder without adults who love you more than they love themselves. But harder is just harder, that's all.”

LoveParentsMoving On
Book:This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.
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