“If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.” PeopleIfsEnjoyProfessionDentistry Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“I jog, actually; I go at night. A lot of women, they don't like to go jogging alone at night. They're afraid they might get accosted. I go naked. That way, if there are any perverts around, they think I'm already being chased.” IfsThinkingWayMightNightNakedJogging Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub.” IfsThinkingShouldGuyGirlCausesHeardHotCrapCreepyTubsHot Tub Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.” IfsGivingImportantEnoughBigsFacesEventsCryMeetingsLiftsTemporaryYour FaceBig Events Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.” IfsSuperiors Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.” IfsWayNeedsLongEndsStoriesBornSilenceHonestGoodnessLong TimeHundredYeahBoardsMy SisterCentsAwkwardBatsLong Time AgoRetardedRetardLengthy Author:Bonnie McFarlane
