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Cat Marnell Books

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“Some people just aren’t meant for the grind. I was in one of those huge public middle schools, taking seven different classes a day. I couldn’t keep up. I couldn’t even remember my locker combination! So I started shutting down—figuratively and literally, during classes. I’d been fully alert at ten years old; then I turned eleven and suddenly I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I’d fall asleep right there at my desk. And not because I wasn’t totally well rested; I totally was! It was so weird. And in the next class, I’d nod off again, at a different desk.”

AddMental HealthRelatableAdhdAttention Deficit Disorder
Book:How to Murder Your Life
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“I was giving my final cast notes when the cramping began. I went to the girls' bathroom, sat down in a stall, and pulled down my jeans. I apologize in advance for what I am about to describe. Imagine a jellyfish as big as an ashtray. Now turn that jellyfish dark bloodred and multiply it by a few hundred. Now imagine pulling down your Sergio Valente jeans and seeing hundreds of ashtray-size bloodred jellyfish pouring out of you. That's what happened to me. "AUUUUUUUUUGH!" I started screaming. AUUUUUUGH!" The bloody pieces - the lining of my uterus, I guess- kept gushing from my body and into the water. It was like my insides were falling out. I tried to catch them in my hands to stop it. There was too much. Plunk. plunk, plunk, plunk. It was endless. A deluge!”

FunnyDark HumorUterusGush
Book:How to Murder Your Life
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