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Uterus Quotes

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Uterus Quotes

“I was giving my final cast notes when the cramping began. I went to the girls' bathroom, sat down in a stall, and pulled down my jeans. I apologize in advance for what I am about to describe. Imagine a jellyfish as big as an ashtray. Now turn that jellyfish dark bloodred and multiply it by a few hundred. Now imagine pulling down your Sergio Valente jeans and seeing hundreds of ashtray-size bloodred jellyfish pouring out of you. That's what happened to me. "AUUUUUUUUUGH!" I started screaming. AUUUUUUGH!" The bloody pieces - the lining of my uterus, I guess- kept gushing from my body and into the water. It was like my insides were falling out. I tried to catch them in my hands to stop it. There was too much. Plunk. plunk, plunk, plunk. It was endless. A deluge!”

FunnyDark HumorUterusGush
Book:How to Murder Your Life
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“Well into the 19th century there were pronouncements from just about every branch of science and medicine that reading, writing, and thinking were dangerous for women. Articles in the Lancet declared that women's brains would burst and their uteruses atrophy if they engaged in any form of rigorous thinking. The famous physician J.D. Kellogg insisted that novel reading was the greatest cause of uterine disease among young women and urged parents to protect their daughters from the dreaded consequences of print.”

IfsThinkingWritingWellsFormYoungReadingCausesParentBrainNovelCenturyDangerousProtectDiseaseDaughterConsequenceMedicineEngagedBranchesPrintSexismArticlesPhysiciansYoung Women19th CenturyAtrophyReading WritingUterusWriting And Thinking
Author:Dale Spender
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“Another thing very injurious to the child is the tying and cutting of the navel string too soon, which should always be left till the child has not only repeatedly breathed but till all pulsation in the cord ceases. As otherwise the child is much weaker than it ought to be, a part of the blood being left in the placenta which ought to have been in the child and at the same time the placenta does not so naturally collapse, and withdraw itself from the sides of the uterus, and is not therefore removed with so much safety and certainty.”

ShouldChildrenDoeHas BeensLeftSidesCuttingBloodOughtSafetyCeaseCertaintyStringsCollapseCordsNavelUterusPlacenta
Author:Erasmus Darwin
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“I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty, they will need things like the drugs they choose to use. Mankind has wanted to change the way it felt from the beginning anyway. In this country there are even more reasons to want to feel different, to want to feel better, because this is such a neon sewer. This is such a degrading culture. It forces you to play Beethoven to your child in the uterus so that he will get into a better school and a better job and make more money so he can take care of you.”

ThinkingWayWantNeedsFeelsChildrenLongDifferentCountryReasonPlayUseProblemCareWantedSchoolJobsCultureForceFeltMankindDrugEmptyOur ChildrenTake CareYour ChildrenMore MoneyFeel BetterSymptomsBetter JobsDegradingNeonSewersUterus
Author:George Carlin
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“You start doing your research and realizing that the fertility rate for women drops considerably. And you're like, "Oh my God, now I want to get pregnant, and now it's a crazy time where I might not be able to get pregnant because I'm getting older and my eggs are aging and my uterus isn't as fertile as it used to be and my loins are not where they used to be."”

WantMightAbleUsedRealizingCrazyResearchAgingRateUsed To BeEggsPregnantGetting OldGetting OlderFertileFertilityUterusCrazy Times
Author:Staceyann Chin
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“Nothing seems crueler--or more ironic--than these upper crusters who never pay a dime for their high-priced shrinks or reflexology sessions to call those who just want that tumor removed from their uterus a bunch of commies. Well, the revolution is at hand and let's hope all those uninsured commies give the rich such a headache that a whole bottle of Advil won't be enough to take the pain way.”

WayWantGivingWellsEnoughWholeHandsSeemsPainPayRichRevolutionBunchBottlesIronicShrinksSessionHeadacheDimesTumorsUterus
Book:Dude, Where's My Country?
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“Where did you go?" "To the end of the driveway," my mother says. "I was nine months pregnant; that was the maximum distance I could waddle without feeling as if my uterus was falling out." I wince. "Do you have to be quite so graphic?" "What would you like me to call it, Zoe? A fetal living room?”

IfsEndsFeelingsMotherFallRoomsMonthsDistanceNineLike MePregnantMaximumGraphicLiving RoomNine MonthsDrivewayWinceUterus
Book:Sing You Home: A Novel
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“All elongated objects, such as sticks, tree-trunks and umbrellas(the opening of these last being comparable to an erection) may stand for the male organ...Boxes, cases, chests, cupboards, and ovens represent the uterus...Rooms in dreams are usually women...Many landscapes in dreams, especially any containing breidges or wooded hills, may clearly be recognized as descriptions of the genitals.”

MayDreamLastsRoomsCasesTreeObjectsSticksMalesBoxesOpeningHillsLandscapeDescriptionChestsOrgansUmbrellaTrunksContainingOvensCupboardsUterusTree Trunks
Author:Sigmund Freud
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“Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics. I was born after the Civil Rights movement, I was a toddler during the women's movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I am allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice and my uterus.”

MeanHardStatesAmericaParentVoiceBornUnitedClassUnited StatesRightsMiddleMovementBrilliantCivil RightsMiddle ClassRelativeUnited States Of AmericaCivil Rights MovementToddlerMiddle Class FamilyUterus
Book:Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person
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“Beyond the immediate risks to her health and the health of her baby, when a woman chooses c-section, she decreases the chance that she will be able to get pregnant again and increases the chance that if she does get pregnant, the pregnancy will occur outside the uterus, a situation that never results in a live baby and is life-threatening to the woman. Furthermore, the risk of having an unexplained stillbirth doubles when a woman has had a previous c-section.”

IfsDoeAbleChoicesWomenChanceResultsSituationRiskHealthBabyBirthIncreasePregnancyPregnantSectionsThreateningDecreaseRisk-takingUnexplainedReproductive HealthUterusStillbirthUnborn BabyCesarean
Author:Marsden Wagner
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“To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is.”

IfsHumansTermNeededResearchMouthsConservativeDestroyedCellsHuman LifeStemStem CellEmbryosImplantsStem Cell ResearchUterus
Book:New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer
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