“As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a leaky boat. Well, except for that fact that boats are not generally round, orange and on fire. Hmm. Come to think of it, in no way whatsoever did the sun, in this instance, resemble a leaky boat. My apologies. That was a dreadful attempt at simile. Please allow me to try again. As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a self-luminous, gaseous sphere comprised mainly of of hydrogen and helium.” FunnySunBoatSunsetSimileDuskSink Book:A Whole Nother Story Source: A Whole Nother Story
“Musicians have always had a better understanding of love than the rest of us. Over the years they have told us that love: is like a rock, is here to stay, is all you need, will find a way, will keep us together, will tear us apart, sucks.” LoveMusicKnowledgeRockMusiciansSucks Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“Well," Mr. Cheeseman interjected. "Perhaps there's an easy solution to this. Maybe Captain Fabulous has an alter ego." "What's an alter ego?" asked Gerard. "It's a superhero's true but secret identity," said Chip. "You know, the way that Superman is really Clark Kent." "Superman is really Clark Kent?" "It's pretty obvious," said Penny. "To everyone but you and Lois Lane." "Okay," Gerard conceded. "Captain Fabulous's alter ego will be...Teddy Roosevelt.” FunnyNamesSuperheroSupermanAlter EgoLois LaneClark KentTeddy Roosevelt Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided. "What terrible smell?" "The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different." "That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen.” FunnyAirOxygenAllergySneeze Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“Advice to explorers everywhere: if you would like to recieve due credit for your discoveries, keep a detailed account of your journeys as Columbus did. On Septemeber 28, 1492, after four weeks at sea, he writes: Dear diary...I means journal. Yes, dear journal. That's what I meant to say. Whew. Anyway, we have yet to discover America, and the crew has become increasingly rebellious. I have decided to turn back if we have not spotted it by Columbus Day. Will write again later if not killed by crew. P.S. Last night's buffet was fabulous, the ice sculptures magnificent.” FunnyAmericaDiscoveringJournalExplorersColumbusDiaryColumbus DayIce Sculptures Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“Why is it that they can only come up with one model of spaceship? You would assume such intelligent creatures could, once in a while, put out something in a nice powder blue and shaped like a footstool or maybe like France.” BlueAliensFranceSpaceshipsShapeFootstools Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“[The main road was] now teeming with people carrying torches, pitchforks, and rakes, and one very confused man who apparently had mistaken the mob for a parade and was marching around with a Swedish flag.” AngryTorchesSwedenMobRakesPitchforksFlagParade Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“If there is one good thing about an angry mob, it's that they are so focused on being angry and mobbish that they sometimes miss little things. Things like a horse-drawn cart being driven by the very person who has made them so angry and mobbish in the first place.” AngryOverlookMobsGood Thing Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.” FunnyNameWilliam ShakespeareQuill Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story
“These reports that are not explained by natural phenomena or exploding outhouses are known as UFO's, which is the official abbreviation for Unidentified Flying Objects. I suppose it could also stand for Uncommonly Fat Orangutans, but in this case it does not.” UfoOrangutansAcronymsAbbreviations Book:Another Whole Nother Story Source: Another Whole Nother Story