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Dahi Tamara Koch Books

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“Do you know these days? These days when the alarm rings, and there's no energy left to get up because you think that today nothing will change and nothing good will happen anyway? I had that feeling when I woke up this morning. The dream I had dreamt passed into the next day without any transition, and I cried myself awake. The alarm rang. I felt horrible, and I didn't know where I was. My dreams have always been very vivid, very real – it can be a blessing and a curse. Today it had been a curse. Usually, you cry yourself to sleep – but on particular days, you cry yourself awake. Years ago, which I can count on the fingers of both of my hands, I would have felt very much at home in this feeling. I would have wallowed in it. Melancholy had been my very best friend for oh so many years. But it's not like that anymore. Life is radiant and colourful. Even though there are days that seem dull and grey. But even those days will pass. Joy is an active choice. Sometimes you have to even fight for it. But one day, you will be richly gifted. Then you will gain something that weighs more than all the loneliness, the guilt, the sadness: pure life. Some time ago, I consciously decided against surrendering to the grey within me. And I promised myself to leave my bed every day, even on the days that seemed dull and grey, and to throw myself into the day the same way I wanted to throw myself into life. Life is the only thing we can call our very own. And if the grey appears to be too grey, one has to show one's true colours. Inside and out. And that's why I wear red because a pop of colour can frighten away the grey.”

SadnessDepressionColourProseDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event Horizon
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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“I still remember that moment, years ago, when someone I dearly loved had to die a tragic death. And I thought about all the beloved people in my life and sensed a feeling of fear, of losing them one day, because, in the end, we'll lose everyone we have ever loved, no matter how. And I thought that nothing in this world is meant to last and that nothing is going to stay forever. But then I also realized that … it doesn't need to stay. It's here now. It's felt now. And drifting apart and breaking up and having to die are such things that belong to life. And without death, no living thing can exist. It is our fate to one day crumble into dust ... and it is and always will be a painful and cruel experience, to lose someone you loved with the whole of your heart. But this is also what makes life so unique. This is what makes it meaningful. This is what makes it so unbelievably precious. This is why you should live every day as if it was your last one. This is why you shouldn't hide away your feelings from those people your heart belongs to. This is why you should tell them what you feel. Always. This is why you should listen to your heart and never stop listening. This is why you should give your all and love and love and love and love.”

LoveOptimismPositivityMortalityTranscendencePositive AffirmationDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event Horizon
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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“It's up to you to find joy in your life. Don't let yourself be stylized as a victim. You're able to pull the strings, even if things couldn't get any worse. To realize that can be difficult, and at times it might take an outside person to make that clear. There's always a way out and … Giving up is no escape and no option.”

JoyGiving UpOptimismVictimPositivityPositive AffirmationDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event Horizon
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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“It is not granted to us that what we wish for most of all will fall into our laps. Luck is no star-money falling into our laps when we stupidly stare into the starry skies and wait for something to happen. No. We have to actively participate in searching for and creating our very own happiness. In the Declaration of Independence, the pursuit of happiness is mentioned – it is one of the fundamental rights of every human being, as well as freedom and life itself. We cannot passively expect. We have to actively strive for it. Every human can change his life for the better if he is willing to take the heat for it. But it takes courage.”

HappinessJoyChangeFreedomSelf DiscoveryJoy Of LifeDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event Horizon
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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“Every morning is a beginning, every evening a farewell. The everlasting resurgence lets me start anew – I will enshrine every tear, every smile. None of it I will let go or die. Never will I forget … My confessions have always been words full of deceit – a house built on sand. […] I planted a flower in your garden. We enshrine an eternity not to be found in any reality. You are the dome of my sky and my soil. In your shadow I can thrive – it gives the only light that lets me live. … I see your coming and going – but my heart leans on your resurgence.”

LoveFeelingsChangeTrue LoveMortalityReal LoveDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event HorizonPanta Rei
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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“I want to travel. I want to laugh. I want to live and love and be happy. I want to spend time with my favourite human beings. I want to dance and dance and dance. I want to encounter strangers as if they are friends I do not know yet. I want to see people like they really are. I want deep talk. I want depth. I want to swim through the dark waters in fearlessness. I want to let go of the anger, fear, and hatred that's still remaining in my heart. I want to have a pure soul, to speak only words of truth, and to live that truth in everything I think and feel and do. I want to show the people I love that I love them and oh, how I love them they ought to know. I want to show my own inner self. I want the world to see who I am. I want to show the colours, all the colours of my soul and my heart that got rid of all the blackness of the past. I want to be heartfelt emotion, and vulnerability, and strength. I want to be fearlessness. I want to be a rainbow. I want to be a golden queen. I want to be the maze you never ever want to leave. A fairy. A goddess. A woman. I want to be real.”

Self LoveTravelSelf DiscoverySelf AcceptanceDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event Horizon
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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“Have you ever had that feeling that you're completely in this very moment, now, living, breathing, there with your whole being? I'm sitting on the hump of the Arabian camel. I feel the warm wind flowing around me like a never-ending stream. It's 48 degrees. I feel the heat on my skin, behold the endless, weightless, sandy open, and sense that I have fully arrived at this very moment. I'm here. I'm now. I'm alive. It is an incredible feeling, an incredibly full feeling of freedom and self-love, and love for the world, and I realize that everything is possible. I see the retrospective of my whole sensitivity, the odyssey of my life, my depression, my suffering, and loving until I have finally been able to arrive in this perfect marvellous moment, and I feel free. Simply free. Boundless and free. The first time I had that feeling that I'm totally present at this very moment had been at the age of fifteen when I read The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder. A boy of fifteen years who travels the world with his father tells us the story of this feeling. He's lying in the loft bed. Above him, his father is snoring. It is night, and he cannot fall asleep because, in this very moment, he realizes that he's completely there, completely in this very moment, now, living, breathing, and marvelling at the miracle of his being. It's an overwhelming feeling. But at the age of fifteen, I hadn't been free. I knew that I existed, but I felt as if trapped in a cage with nowhere to hide. I was trapped in the cage of my own feelings. The cage of my depression. It had been an odyssey of many years into adulthood through trials and tribulations and self-inflicted and outward disappointments until I finally had been able to say that I can embrace the moment and feel alive. That I can be free. That I can be taken up at this very moment. That I love this life, I'm allowed to live. The moment I ultimately realized that I have made it through all of the trials and tribulations and obstacles of my life's journey to finally see my own true self was while riding on an Arabian camel in the Sahara desert. With the warm wind flowing around me. With myself within me. And that's also why I will never forget this journey and this country. And that's also why my love for this country is as vast and infinite as the Sahara desert. And that's why I will return there. Again and again and again. It is the place where I realized that I am free. That I made it. That everything, simply everything, is possible. So many people live their lives without ever experiencing something significant. Every day of their lives is the same. And then, at the end of their life's journey, they wonder why they cannot answer the question of whether they have lived at all. Because they never felt present as a whole. But without being wholly present and without the feeling of being existent in the present, within one's own true self, and now, one cannot know oneself, and one cannot recognize the precious gift of life. Because that's precisely what it is: a gift.”

FreedomSelf LoveDepressionSelf DiscoveryJoy Of LifeDahi Tamara KochEvent HorizonWithin The Event Horizon
Book:Within the event horizon: poetry & prose
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