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Derek Landy

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Famous Derek Landy Quotes

“Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.”

IfsWayHas BeensSaidDifferentWantedSchoolJobsPastCoursesParentMagicAdviceSubjectsStageCollegeFactorsConsiderationApplicationReferringSkeletonsProspectsUnderworldWay In Life
Book:Skulduggery Pleasant -
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“Don’t kill me,” he sobbed as he lay there. “Oh God, please don’t kill me.” “If you had let me finish,” Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, “you would have heard me say, ‘Come out, we’re not going to hurt you’. Idiot.” “He probably wouldn’t have said idiot,” Valkyrie told the sobbing man. “We’re trying our best to be nice.” The man blinked through his tears, and looked up. “You’re... You’re not going to kill me?” “No, we’re not,” Valkyrie said gently, “so long as you wipe your nose right now.”

IfsMenTryingLongSaidHurtNiceHeardTearsPleaseRight NowLet MeLaysIdiotNosesBeing NiceKill MeWipeAnnoyedSobbingTrying Our Best
Book:Mortal Coil (Skulduggery Pleasant, Book 5)
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“Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.” “If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.” “We make a great team.” “Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.”

IfsMenGivingMaySaidWholeForgetWorryTeamSecurityFrontsArmsProtectStrikesScreamSignalsProtect YouBad ManGreat TeamFalse Sense Of Security
Book:Death Bringer (Skulduggery Pleasant, Book 6)
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“You're bored, aren't you.' 'I need constant distraction. Shall we go?' 'Uh, aren't you supposed to delegate responsibility or something? If you're not here, who's in charge?' Skulduggery looked around and pointed to a sorcerer at the far side of the cemetery. 'He is.' 'Who is he?' 'Don't know. He looks like leadership material, though, doesn't he?' 'Does he?' 'He's wearing a hat.' 'And that means he's a leader?' 'Leaders wear hats. It's to keep the rain off while we make important decisions. He'll do fine.' 'Shouldn't you tell him that he's in charge?' 'And spoil the surprise?”

IfsKnowsNeedsLooksMeanDoeImportantSidesDecisionResponsibilityLeaderMaterialsFineRainConstantSurpriseBoredHatsDistractionSpoilCemeteryDelegatesImportant DecisionsFar Side
Author:Derek Landy
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“Valkyrie dialed Skulduggery's number and he picked up. 'Hey,' she said, 'It's me.' Skulduggery paused. 'No it's not. If it were me, then I'd be talking to myself, and I don't do that any more. I certainly don't RING myself. That's one of the first signs of madness, and if it's not, it should be.' She sighed. 'Are you finished talking nonsense?' 'I haven't talked nonsense all morning. I miss it.”

IfsShouldFirstsSaidNumbersTalkingMorningMissingHavensMadnessFinishedRingsHeyNonsenseTalking Nonsense
Author:Derek Landy
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“Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.' Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.' 'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.' 'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.' 'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.' Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.' 'Why? If you cry will your mascara run?”

IfsWayWantLittlesLongSelfEnoughRunningPainRomanceVoiceChanceNovelCryListeningLowsBreathsKillingParanormalGirlfriendBagsRejectsGet AwayOur LoveExesInsultingRomance NovelDeep BreathStood UpMascaraEmoEx GirlfriendInsulting Me
Author:Derek Landy
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“Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.”

PeopleIfsThinkingWellsStillsDifferentLastsFightingFunSidesBrainPiecesGoes OnDatingMoonlightGoreBlastRueFun TimesSnuggling
Author:Derek Landy
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“Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn't been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn't take the chance that a wild animal might wander in and make off with Alice, like those dingoes in Australia. She was probably being unfair to both dingoes and Australia, but she couldn't risk it. Locked doors kept the dingoes out, and that's all there was to it, even if she didn't know what a dingo actually was. She took out her phone, searched the Internet, found a picture of a baby dingo and now she really wanted a baby dingo for a pet.”

IfsKnowsMightWantedFoundHouseChanceAnimalRiskDoorsBabyInternetPhonesWanderPetAustraliaLockedUnfairRisk ItWild AnimalBack DoorsLocked DoorsDingoes
Author:Derek Landy
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“I should go in alone," Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. "If we both go in, it'll look to official." "So I'll just stay out here?" Skulduggery asked. "But what'll I do? There's no one to talk to. It's boring." "You're standing on the roof of a train," Valkyrie pointed out. "If you find this boring, you really need your head examined. Just wait here. I'll do what has to be done and I'll be find out. "Fine," he said, sounding grumpy. "Don't be long.”

IfsNeedsShouldLooksLongSaidDoneWaitingHeardFineStandingTrainBoringOfficialsRoofGrumpy
Book:Skulduggery Pleasant:
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“I understand perfectly. Darquesse isn't a separate entity. She isn't another person. She's you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to twist and turn and change you, then yes, the future we've seen will come to pass. But if you fight, and if you kick, and struggle, and refuse to give in to the apathy, or the anger, or the hopelessness, then you'll change the future, and you'll walk your own path. And I'll be right there beside you, Valkyrie. I'll always be beside you.”

PeopleIfsWorldGivingPersonsTurnsChoicesFightingWalksStrugglePathLove YouRefuseKicksApathyEntityHopelessnessTwistsWrong ChoicesBeside YouSkulduggery PleasantTwists And Turns
Author:Derek Landy
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“It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables.”

IfsWellsMomentsEyeTurnsSoundChanceRolesAliveEatingMurderTablesCaughtFishesInstantFishingSharksBack When
Author:Derek Landy
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“Clarabelle...Clarabelle... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?' 'One of the. He fired all the others.' 'But not you?' 'He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.' 'And then you killed him.' 'Yes.' 'A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.' 'Yes.' Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.' 'Can I have Mondays off?' 'You may.”

IfsTryingMayScreamMondayKill MeAssistantsRemnantsNye
Author:Derek Landy
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“Ladies and gentleman," he said over the speakers, "welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I'd like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won't do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain.”

IfsSaidMomentsSidesAttentionAirMountainSafetyWingsWelcomeAwfulFeaturesGentlemanIf I CouldEnginesSpeakersLiberatedAircraftLadies And Gentlemen
Author:Derek Landy
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