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“If you need me, knock.' She paused. 'Princess.' I groaned. Hawke chuckled. 'I really do like her.' 'I'm sure she'd love to hear that.' 'Would you love to hear that I really like you?' he asked. My heart skipped a beat, but I ignored the stupid organ. 'Would you be sad if I said no?' 'I'd be devastated.' I snorted. 'I'm sure.”

“I hate this.' 'Hate what?' I asked, confused. Hawke didn't respond immediately. 'I hate talking to the veil.' 'Oh.' Understanding rippled through me as I reached up and touched the length that hid my hair. 'I imagine most people don't enjoy it.' 'I can't imagine you do.' 'I don't.' I admitted and then glanced around the room as if I expected Priestess Analia to be hiding somewhere. 'I mean, I'd prefer if people were able to see me.' He tilted his head to the side. 'What does it feel like?' Air hitched in my throat. No one... no one had ever asked me that before, and while I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about the veil, I wasn't sure how to put them into words even though I trusted Hawke. Some things, once spoken, were given a life of their own. ... 'It feels suffocating.' Hawke drew closer. 'Then why do you wear it?' 'I didn't realise I had a choice.' I looked up at him. 'You have a choice now.' He knelt in front of me. 'It's just you and me, walls, and a pathetically inadequate supply of furniture.' My lips twitched. 'Do you wear your veil when you're with Tawny?' he asked. I shook my head no. 'Then why are you wearing it now?' 'Because... I'm allowed to be without my veil with her.' 'I was told that you were supposed to be veiled at all times, even with those approved to see you.' He was, of course, correct. Hawke arched a brow. I sighed. 'I don't wear my veil when I'm in my room, and I don't expect anyone to come in other than Tawny. And I don't wear it then because I feel... more in control. I can make-' 'The choice not to wear it?' he finished for me. Nodding, I was more than a little stunned that he'd nailed it. 'You have a choice now.' 'I do.' But it was hard to explain that the veil also served as a barrier. With it, I remembered what I was, and the importance of that. Without it, well, it was easy to want... to simply want.”

“You shouldn't have done that,' I told him. 'I should've allowed her to hit you? In what world would that have been acceptable?' 'In a world where you end up punished for something that wouldn't even have hurt.' 'I don't care if she hits like a baby mouse, this world is fucked up if anyone finds that acceptable.”

“Is it worth losing your position over and being ostracised for?' He glared down at me. 'If you even have to ask that question, then you don't know me at all.' 'I hardly know you at all,' I whispered, irritated by the sting his words left behind. 'Well, now you know that I will never stand by and watch someone hit you or any person for no reason other than they feel they can,' he shot back.”

“It seems to me that this honour that has been bestowed upon you comes with very few benefits. You're not allowed to show your face or travel anywhere outside the castle grounds. You didn't even seem all that surprised when the Priestess moved to strike you. That leads me to believe it's something fairly common,' he said, his brows dark slashes above his eyes. 'You are not allowed to speak to most, and you are not to be spoken to. You're caged in your room most of the day, your freedom restricted. All the rights others have are privileges for you, rewards that seems impossible for you to earn.”

“A heartbeat later, Hawke stuck his head out and looked up at me. The soft glow of the lamp glanced off his cheekbone as he raised a brow. 'Hi?' I squeaked. He stared at me for a moment. 'Get inside.' I didn't move. With a sigh so heavy it should've rattled the walls, he extended his hand toward me. 'Now.' 'You could say please,' I muttered. His eyes narrowed. 'There are a whole lot of things I could say to you that you should be grateful I'm keeping to myself.' 'Whatever,' I grumbled. 'Move back.' He waited, but when I didn't take his hand, he disappeared back into the room, grousing under his breath. 'If you fall, you're going to be in so much trouble.' 'If I fall, I'll be dead, so I'm not quite sure how I'd also be in trouble.' 'Poppy,' he snapped, and I couldn't help it. I grinned.”

“Penellaphe.' He said my name with so much shock my eyes would've rolled if I weren't so incredibly mortified. 'This is... just scandalous reading material for the Maiden.' 'Shut up.' 'Very naughty,' he chided, shaking his head. Annoyance hitting a record high, I lifted my chin. 'There's nothing wrong with my reading about love.' 'I didn't say there was.' Hawke looked at me. 'But I don't think what she is writing about has anything to do with love.' 'Oh, so you're an expert on this now?' 'More so than you, I imagine.”

“Give me back the journal.' 'But, of course.' He offered it and I snatched it out of his hand quickly, holding it to my chest. 'All you had to do was ask.' 'What?' My mouth dropped open. 'I have been asking.' 'Sorry.' He didn't sound sorry at all. 'I have selective hearing.' 'You are... You are the worst.' 'You got your words wrong.' Striding past me, he patted the top of my head. I lashed out, narrowly missing him. 'You meant, I'm the best.' 'I got my words right.' 'Come. I need to get you back before something other than your own foolishness puts you at risk.' He stopped by the door. 'And don't forget your book. I expect a summary of each chapter tomorrow.”

“You look... lovely,' he said, and my stomach dipped in the most pleasant way possible. He turned to Tawny. 'As do you.' Tawny smiled. 'Thank you.' He glanced at Vikter. 'You, as well.' Vikter snorted, and I smiled, while Tawny giggled. 'You do look exceptionally handsome tonight, ' she said, an I swore Vikter's cheeks deepened in colour as I turned back to the dais.”

“It used to be a place of refuge,' he said. 'Now, it's become a place of nightmares. But it can only stay that way if you let it.' 'If I let it? How do I change the fact that Rylan died out there?' 'You don't.' I stared up at him. 'I'm not following where you're going with this.' He stepped closer, dipping his chin. 'You can't change what happened in there. Just like you can't change the fact that the courtyard ued to give you peace. You just replace your last memory- a bad one- with a new one- a good one- and you keep doing that until the initial one no longer outweighs the replacement.' I opened my mouth, but then I really thought about what he'd said. My gaze travelled to the darkness beyond the door. What he's said actually made sense. 'You make it sound so easy.' 'It's not. It's hard and uncomfortable, but it works.' He extended his bare hand, and I looked down, staring at it as if a dangerous animal rested in his palm- a fluffy, cute one that I wanted to pet. 'And you won't be alone. I'll be there with you, and not just watching over you.”

“I reached for his hand but stopped. 'If someone saw me... saw you-' 'Saw us? Holding hands? Dear gods, the scandal.' Another quick grin surfaced., and this time, the dimple appeared. 'No one is here.' He glanced around the hall. 'Unless you see people I can't.' 'Yes, I see the spirits of those who've made bad life choices,' I replied dryly.”

“I don't want you getting too cold, ' he added, his breath warm against my temple. He was so much taller, even sitting as straight as I was, my head still didn't reach his chin. 'I feel like that's an important part of my duty as your personal Royal Guard.' 'Is that what you're doing right now? Protecting me from the cold by pulling me into your lap?' 'Exactly.' His hand was against my side, the weight like a brand. I stared at what I thought might be his throat. 'This is incredibly inappropriate.' 'More inappropriate than reading a dirty journal?' 'Yes,' I insisted, heat creeping into my face. 'No.' His deep chuckle rumbled through me. 'I can't even lie. This is inappropriate.' 'Then why?' 'Why?' His chin grazed the top of my head. 'Because I wanted to.' I blinked once and then twice. 'And what if I didn't want to?' Another chuckle sent an acute shiver through me. 'Princess, I'm confident that if you didn't want me to do something, I'd be lying flat on my back with a dagger at my throat before I even took my next breath. Even if you can't see an inch in front of you.”

“The least you can do is tell me why you didn't stop me,' he said before I could give in to the curiosity and reach out with my senses. I had no idea how I could answer when I didn't fully understand it myself. One side of his lips quirked up. 'I'm sure it's more than my disarming good looks.' I wrinkled my nose. 'Of course.' Another short, surprised-sounding laugh left him. 'I think you just insulted me.' Chagrined, I winced. 'That's not what I meant- 'You've wounded me, Princess.' 'I highly doubt that. You have to be more than well aware of your appearance.' 'I am. It has led to quite a few people making questionable life choices.”

“Would you rather I was poetic about how I'm charmed by your beauty, even though I can only see half your face? Which, by the way, from what I can see is pleasing. Would you rather I tell you I'm captivated by your eyes? They are a pretty shade of green from what I can tell.' I started to frown. 'Well, no. I don't want you to lie.' 'None of those things were a lie.' He tugged on the bow as he dipped his head, brushing his lips over mine. The soft contact sent a wave of awareness through me. 'I told you the truth, Princess. I'm intrigued by you, and it's fairly rare anyone intrigues me.”

“Hawke placed a hand on the hilt of his broadsword and bowed slightly, his gaze never once leaving mine. 'With my sword and with my life, I vow to keep you safe, Penellaphe,' he spoke, voice deep and smooth, reminding me of rich decadent chocolate. 'From this moment until the last moment, I am yours.”

“So, he was just making sure you're still alive and-' 'Breathing?' Hawke suggested, startling both of us. He stood a mere foot from where we sat, having moved with the stealth of a trained guard and the quiet of a ghost. 'Since I am responsible for keeping her alive, making sure she's breathing would be a priority.' My shoulders stiffened. How much had he overheard? Tawny made a poor attempt to smother her giggle with a napkin. 'I'm relieved to hear that.' 'If not, I'd be remiss in my duty, would I not?' 'Ah, yes, your duty.' She lowered her napkin. 'Between protecting Poppy with your life and limb and gathering spilled crystals, you're pretty busy.' 'Don't forget assisting weak Ladies in Wait to the nearest chair before they faint,' he suggested. Those strange, mesmerising eyes glinted with a hint of mischief, and I was... as transfixed with him as I'd been with the Ladies in Wait. This was the Hawke I'd met in the Red Pearl. A well of pain hidden behind a teasing and charming personality. 'I am a man of many talents.' 'I'm sure you are,' Tawny replied with a grin while I fought the urge to reach out with my senses. His gaze flicked to her, and the dimple in his right cheek appeared. 'Your faith in me warms my heart,' ...”

“Thank you.' 'No insincere thanks are required or needed. It is my duty to keep you safe.' He paused. 'Even from treacherous staircases.' I took a dee, even breath. 'My gratitude was not insincere.' 'My apologies then.' I didn't have to look at him to know he was grinning, and I'd bet that stupid dimple was gracing the world with its presence.”

“Thank you.' 'No insincere thanks are required or needed. It is my duty to keep you safe.' He paused. 'Even from treacherous staircases.' I took a deep, even breath. 'My gratitude was not insincere.' 'My apologies then.' I didn't have to look at him to know he was grinning, and I'd bet that stupid dimple was gracing the world with its presence.”

“He raised his brows as his gaze travelled the length of my bare leg. 'Scandalous,' he murmured. A growl of annoyance burst from me. He laughed. 'And such dainty little slippers. Satin and silk? They're as finely tailored as your leg. The kind of slipper no guard of the Rise would wear. How astute of him. 'Unless they are being outfitted differently than I am,' ...”

“Correction,' he said, and then he laughed as the trickle of blood seeped down his neck. It wasn't a harsh laugh or a patronizing one. He sounded amused. 'You're an absolutely stunning, murderous little creature.' Pausing, he glanced down. 'Nice weapon. Bloodstone and wolven bone. Very interesting...' His gaze flicked up. 'Princess.”

“After all we shared? You throw a dagger at my face?' 'All we shared? It was a handful of minutes and a few kisses,' I said, and the truth of that struck me with startling clarity. That was all we'd shared. Gods, I was so... sheltered. Because in my limited experience, it had become... so much more to me. The wake-up call that it was only a few kisses was utterly brutal. 'It was more than a few kisses.' His voice dropped low. 'If you've forgotten, I'm more than willing to remind you.' Tiny coils of tension formed in my stomach. Part of me wanted to be reminded of what I surely had not forgotten. Thank the gods, the smarter, logical part of me won out. 'There was nothing worth remembering.' 'Now you insult me after throwing a dagger at my face? You've wounded my tender feelings.' 'Tender feelings?' I snorted. 'Don't be overdramatic.' 'Hard not to be when you threw a dagger at my head and then cut my neck,' he shot back, his grip on me surprisingly gentle compared to the hardness of his tone. 'I knew you'd move out of the way.' 'Did you? Is that why you tried to slice open my throat?' His golden eyes burned from beneath heavy, thick lashes. 'I nicked your skin,' I corrected. 'Because you had a hold of me and wouldn't let go. Obviously, you haven't learnt anything from it.' 'I've actually learned a lot, Princess. That's why your hands and your dagger aren't getting anywhere near my neck.' His thumb slid over the inside of my wrist as a reminder, and my fingers spasmed around the handle of my weapon. 'But if you let go of the dagger, there's a whole lot of me I'll let your hands get close to.”

“Once you get to know me, you'll find that I can be quite benevolent.' 'I have no intention of getting to know you.' 'So, you just make a habit of sneaking into the rooms of young men and seducing them before running off?' 'What?' I gasped. 'Seducing men?' 'Isn't that what you did to me, Princess?' His thumb made another slow sweep along the inside of my wrist. 'You're ridiculous,' I sputtered. 'What I am is intrigued.”

“Am I unaware of a new recruitment policy where half-dressed ladies in cloaks are now needed on the Rise?' he asked. 'Are we that desperately in need of protection?' Anger hit my blood like wildfire. 'Desperate? Why would my presence on the Rise signal desperation when, as you've seen, I know how to use a bow? Oh, wait. Is it because I happen to have breasts?' 'I've known women with far less beautiful breasts that could cut a man down without so much as blinking an eye,' he said. 'But none of those women are here in Masadonia.”

“I'm sure it was one of the most important things to have happened to you in a long time.' My eyes narrowed. 'You have an over-inflated sense of involvement in my life if you really think that.' 'I think I have a good grasp on just how much of a role I play in your life.' 'Doubtful,' I parroted back. 'I do wonder if you actually believe half the lies you tell.' Tawny's gaze snapped back and forth between us. 'I am not lying, thank you very much.' He smiled, showing off the dimple in his right cheek. 'Whatever you need to tell yourself, Princess.' 'Don't call me that!' I stomped my foot. Hawke lifted an eyebrow. 'Did that make you feel good?' 'Yes! Because the only other option is to kick you.' 'So violent,' he chuckled.”

“You shouldn't be in here.' 'I'm your personal guard,' he replied. 'I can be wherever I feel I am needed to keep you safe.' 'And what do you think you need to protect me from in here?' I demanded, looking around. 'An unruly bedpost I might stub my toe on? Oh, wait, are you worried I might faint? I know how good you are at handling such emergencies.' 'You do look a little pale,' he replied. 'My ability to catch frail, delicate females may come in handy.”

“Penellaphe and I do not to speak,' he said, his gaze never leaving mine. 'I can assure you that she is safe with me, and I'm sure that whatever I'm about to discuss with her, she'll tell you all about it later.' Tawny crossed her arms. 'Yes, she will, but that's not nearly as entertaining as witnessing it.”

“He exhaled heavily. "I don't think I've told you this. I didn't get the chance yet. When you asked me to kiss you under the willow? Deep down, I knew then that I would give you anything you asked for. I still will. Whatever you want," he promised roughly, his fingers tangling in my hair. "You can have it. Anything. Everything. You can have it all. I will make sure of it.”

“Casteel's head snapped down, his eyes feral and lost as they'd been the morning he woke from the nightmare. He caught one of the roots as it fell over my stomach and stared at it for a moment before he broke it, tossing it aside. "I cannot let you go. I won't. Not now. Not ever." His hand moved to my cheek, but I barely felt it. "Kieran, I need you to pull the bolt out. I— I can't—" His voice shattered. "I need you. I can't do that." "You're going to..." Kieran rocked forward. "Fuck. Yeah. Okay." He tore through the roots. "Let's do this.”

“When you call me Cas, it reminds me that I'm real." "Cas," I whispered, blinking back tears. "Don't," he pleaded softly. "Don't cry." "I'm sorry. It's just that I want..." Gods, there was so much I wanted for him. I wanted him to never have experienced any of that, but I couldn't undo the past. "I want you to know that you are always Cas. You were never a thing, and you aren't one now." I rose, easing him onto his back. The buttery light of the gas lamp flowed over the striking lines of his face. "You are Casteel Hawkethrone Da'Neer. A son. A brother. A friend. A husband." I leaned over him, and there was no mistaking the deepening of the color in his eyes as his gaze dropped to my breasts. Clasping his cheek, I guided his gaze back to mine. "You are a King. My King. And you will always be my everything, but never will you be a thing.”

“Our relationship was never one of raw need. That doesn't mean I cared any less about her, but it wasn't like this. There was no constant need to be inside her in every way imaginable, and even ways not yet thought of. I never found myself constantly hungering, and I believe you need that to find yourself exploring those things with someone you're commited to," he said, and my breaths became shorter and shallower. "I never had what I have with you with her, Poppy.”