“I think virginity is fine, just as I think having sex is fine. I don't really care what women do sexually, and neither should you. In fact, that's the point. I believe that a young woman's decision to have sex, or not, shouldn't impact how she's seen as a moral actor.” ThinkingShouldBelieveFactsCareYoungActorsI BelieveSexDecisionMoralFineImpactYoung WomenSexuallyVirginityHaving Sex Author:Jessica Valenti
“The stereotypes of feminists as ugly, or man-haters, or hairy, or whatever it is - that's really strategic. That's a really smart way to keep young women away from feminism, is to kind of put out this idea that all feminists hate men, or all feminists are ugly; and that they really come from a place of fear.” MenWayKindIdeasYoungHateFeminismSmartFeministUglyYoung WomenStereotypeStrategicHate MeReally SmartMan Hater Author:Jessica Valenti
“I think the idea that feminism is dead is dangerous because it leads women and men to believe that (1) they don't have to do anything; the work has been done, and that everything is okay now; and (2) it leaves them kind of alone, I think, in a struggle, and that's something I've seen a lot when I go to colleges and I speak to young women.” ThinkingMenBelieveKindHas BeensIdeasDoneYoungSpeakStruggleFeminismDangerousCollegeMen And WomenOkayYoung Women Author:Jessica Valenti
“I hear from a lot of young women, you know, I don't want to call myself a feminist because I don't want to get in an argument with someone. And it's just not cool; like it's not a cool thing to be associated with.” KnowsWantYoungArgumentFeministYoung WomenCool Things Author:Jessica Valenti
“There's no benefit to saying that you're a feminist. But you do kind of get a nice patriarchal pat on the head if you say, oh, I'm not like that, like I'm not one of those crazy feminists, which is something that happens a lot, where young women or young men will express some sort of feminist ideal, will say, you know, I think it's crap that Wal-Mart won't give out emergency contraception, but I'm not one of those crazy feminists.” IfsThinkingKnowsMenGivingKindHappensYoungNiceCrazyBenefitsIdealsFeministYoung ManCrapYoung WomenEmergenciesContraception Author:Jessica Valenti
“I think that the ideal of young womanhood as it's seen in pop culture specifically is a really kind of vapid, conceited, concerned with money and looks kind of thing that you'll see in a lot of reality shows. And I think that's really damaging, not just because it's a terrible role model to put forth, but that it also puts across this idea to the American public that this is what young women are like, that this is what all young women in America are like.” ThinkingLooksKindIdeasShowsRealityAmericaYoungCultureRolesTerribleModelsConcernedIdealsPopsRole ModelsYoung WomenWomanhoodPop CultureConceitedReality ShowsVapid Author:Jessica Valenti
“Something I say a lot when it comes to anti-feminist stereotypes is that they exist for a reason. The stereotypes of feminists as ugly, or man-haters, or hairy, or whatever it is - that's really strategic. That's a really smart way to keep young women away from feminism, is to kind of put out this idea that all feminists hate men, or all feminists are ugly; and that they really come from a place of fear. If feminism wasn't powerful, if feminism wasn't influential, people wouldn't spend so much time putting it down.” PeopleMenKindReasonHatePowerfulFeminismSmartFeministUglyYoung WomenStereotypeInfluentialHate MeReally SmartInfluential People Author:Jessica Valenti
“Something you hear a lot is that feminism dead. But if feminism is dead, why do people try so hard to kill it? Something just isn't making sense there. So I think when young women hear like, hey, someone's trying to get something over on me, you know, someone's trying to deliberately keep me away from a movement that could make my life better, I think that really resonates with them.” PeopleThinkingTryingFeminismMake SenseYoung Women Author:Jessica Valenti
“Young women know that something is off; they know that the world is a messed-up place. They know that the world is a sexist place because they've had experiences in their own life; they see things happening to their friends, to their parents. But because feminism isn't widely accepted, because they don't necessarily have access to feminist thought or to feminist groups, they don't necessarily have a language to put behind the feelings and the thoughts that they're having. And they certainly don't have a support system to let them know like, hey, that's okay; you're right, that is screwed up.” WorldFeelingsLanguageParentSupportFeminismOkayFeministAcceptedThings HappenYoung WomenSexist Author:Jessica Valenti
“I think people resist feminism because they're scared. I think for women, they're scared of being picked on or of being called out. I hear from a lot of young women, you know, I don't want to call myself a feminist because I don't want to get in an argument with someone. And it's just not cool; like it's not a cool thing to be associated with. There's no benefit to saying that you're a feminist.” PeopleThinkingFeminismArgumentScaredFeministYoung Women Author:Jessica Valenti
“It just struck me as really odd that there were all of these conversations going on about what young women were up to. Were young women having too much sex? Were young women politically apathetic? Are young women socially engaged or not? And whenever these conversations were happening, they were mostly happening by older women and by older feminists. And maybe there would be a younger woman quoted every once in a while, but we weren't really a central part of that conversation. We weren't really being allowed to speak on our own behalf.” SpeakFeministOddYoung WomenApatheticOlder Women Author:Jessica Valenti
“We've been growing our readership every month, and we're kind of like, where are they all coming from? This is wonderful! And I think one of the best surprises was that you hear so often that young women don't care about feminism, that young women don't identify as feminists. But really, the majority of our readers are young women. So to see so many young people kind of get involved and really take to Feministing.com was a really exciting thing.” PeopleThinkingKindCareWonderfulFeminismExcitingSurpriseFeministYoung WomenGet Involved Author:Jessica Valenti
“The desirable virgin is sexy but not sexual. She's young, white, and skinny. She's a cheerleader, a babysitter; she's accessible and eager to please (remember those ethics of passivity!). She's never a woman of color. SHe's never a low-income girl or a fat girl. She's never disabled. "Virgin" is a designation for those who meet a certain standard of what women, especially young women, are supposed to look like. As for how these young women are supposed to act? A blank slate is best.” LooksRememberYoungCertainGirlWhiteColorPleaseLowsStandardsEthicsSexyIncomeFatsBlankYoung WomenVirginsDesirableSkinnyDisabledSlatePassivityCheerleaderLow IncomeBabysitterDesignationBlank SlatesFat Girl Author:Jessica Valenti
“...idea at play here is that of “morality.” When young women are taught about morality, there’s not often talk of compassion, kindness, courage, or integrity. There is, however, a lot of talk about hymens” IdeasPlayYoungCompassionKindnessTaughtMoralityIntegrityYoung Women Book:The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women Source: The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women
“Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.” WayYoungJoyFunSexPleasureBuildingConversationSexualityYoung WomenAbsentBuilding Relationships Book:The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women Source: The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women
