Quotessence
Home / Authors / Lewis B. Smedes
Lewis B. Smedes

Lewis B. Smedes Quotes

Author

Filter quotes by topic

AllForgivingForgivenessPeopleIfsHurtPainPersonsLongWayMemoriesPastFeelsHealShouldBitternessDoeFeelingsForgetForgivenHeart

Famous Lewis B. Smedes Quotes

“Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule.”

PeopleIfsShouldSeemsPayBreakRiskForgivenessAnd LoveForgivingMeant To BeFairnessForgivenTwistsUnnaturalInsufferableDoormatManipulatorWork And Love
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“When you give up vengeance, make sure you are not giving up on justice. The line between the two is faint, unsteady, and fine...Vengeance is our own pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us getting it back and then some. Justice, on the other hand, is secure when someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another even if the injured person takes no pleasure in the transaction. Vengeance is personal satisfaction. Justice is moral accounting...Human forgiveness does not do away with human justice.”

IfsGivingHumansPersonsDoeTwoHandsHurtLinesJusticePleasurePayMoralSeeingFineGiving UpForgivenessFairsSatisfactionSecurePenaltiesVengeanceNot Giving UpInjuredAccountingTransactionsPersonal Satisfaction
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“If we say that monsters [people who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power they should never have...they are given the power to keep their evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most. We give them power to condemn their victims to live forever with the hurting memory of their painful pasts. We give the monsters the last word.”

PeopleIfsGivingShouldHeartLastsPastEvilGivenHurtMemoriesForeverAliveTerribleForgivenessVictimForgivingPainfulMonstersLast WordsLive ForeverPainful Past
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“Forgive a wife-slammer if you can. But you don't have to live with him. Forgive a husband who is abusing your children if you can. But only after you kick him out of the house. And if you can't get him out, get help. It's available. In the meantime, don't let him near the kids, and don't let anyone tell you that if you forgive him it means you have to stay with him. [There's an important difference between forgiving a person and tolerating their bad behavior.]”

IfsMeanChildrenPersonsImportantHelpingKidsHouseDifferencesWifeHusbandBehaviorForgivenessOur ChildrenForgivingAvailableYour ChildrenKicksBad Behavior
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“When we forgive someone, we do not forget the hurtful act, as if forgetting came along with the forgiveness package, the way strings come with a violin. Begin with the basics. If you forget, you will not forgive at all. You can never forgive people for things you have forgotten about. You need to forgive precisely because you have not forgotten what someone did; your memory keeps the pain alive long after the hurt has stopped. Remembering is the storage of pain. It is why you need to be healed in the first place.”

PeopleIfsWayNeedsFirstsLongPainRememberHurtMemoriesForgetAliveForgivingForgottenStringsBitternessPackagesHealedOur MemoriesViolinForget YouBasicsHurtfulStorageNever Forgive
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“Once we have forgiven, however, we get a new freedom to forget. This time forgetting is a sign of health; it is not a trick to avoid spiritual surgery. We can forget because we have been healed. But even if it is easier to forget after we forgive, we should not make forgetting a test of our forgiving. The test of forgiving lies with healing the lingering pain of the past, not with forgetting the past has ever happened.”

IfsShouldHas BeensPainPastSpiritualLyingForgetHealingHappenedEasierTestsForgivingTricksBitternessSurgeryForgivenHealedLingeringForget The Past
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“Can you stop your memory on a dime, put it in reverse, and spin it in another direction the way you can reverse direction on a tape recorder? We cannot forget on command. So we just have to let the forgetting happen as it will; we shouldn't rush it, and we certainly should not doubt the genuineness of our forgiving if we happen to remember. The really important thing is that we have the power to forgive what we still do remember.”

IfsWayShouldStillsImportantHappensRememberMemoriesForgetDoubtImportant ThingsForgivingCommandBitternessTapeReverseOur MemoriesDimesRecordersGenuineness
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“I am personally thankful that we live together in a large moral house even if we do not drink at the same fountain of faith. The world we experience together is one world, God's world, and our world, and the problems we share are common human problems. So we can talk together, try to understand each other, and help each other.”

IfsWorldTryingHumansHelpingProblemTogetherHouseCommunityCommonMoralShareDrinkOur WorldFountainHelping Each OtherHuman Problems
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image

“The moments of grace usually give us more than one good thing we can do, and we do well if we manage a pretty good batting average. ... It is an opportunity that God sews into the fabric of a routine situations - It is a chance to do something creative, something helpful, something healing, something that makes one unmarked spot in the world better off for our having been there.”

PeopleIfsWorldMomentsOpportunityChanceWalksHealingSituationCreativeGraceSpotsHelpfulRoutineFabricBetter OffDiscernmentDynamics
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
Create image