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Lundy Bancroft

Lundy Bancroft Quotes

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Famous Lundy Bancroft Quotes

“The central attitudes driving the Water Torturer are: You are crazy. You fly off the handle over nothing. I can easily convince other people that you're the one who is messed up. As long as I'm calm, you can't call anything I do abusive, no matter how cruel. I know exactly how to get under your skin.”

PeopleKnowsLongI CanMatterWaterAttitudeCrazySkinsCalmDrivingHandleConvinceAbusiveMessed Up
Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative attitudes toward females, but men who have abusive fathers do; the disrespect that abusive men show their female partners and their daughters is often absorbed by their sons. So while a small number of abusive men do hate women, the great majority exhibit a more subtle-though often quite pervasive-sense of superiority or contempt toward females, and some don't show any obvious signs of problems with women at all until they are in a serious relationship.”

MenImportantShowsProblemMotherHateFatherNumbersAttitudeSeriousSonResearchDaughterNegativeFemaleMajorityNotesObviousPartnersSubtleContemptSuperiorityExhibitsDisrespectAbusiveSmall NumbersNegative AttitudeAbusive FatherSerious Relationship
Author:Lundy Bancroft
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“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don't seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser's friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone's image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.”

ThinkingMenWorldFeelsMayPersonsProblemSeemsQualityKindnessSuccessfulPeriodsFitDrugIncludingObstaclesAlcoholPartnersWarmthRecognizingNo ProblemUnlikelySpinningIntimidatingAbusiveGood QualityAbusersMistreatmentSuccessful WorkSpinning Out Of Control
Author:Lundy Bancroft
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