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Madeleine Ryan Books

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“I don't know why people try to be friends with their exes. I mean, we were never friends, so why try after having decided that an intimate relationship isn't going to work? Friendships are intimate, too. You can't just, like, turn the connection down a notch and hope to make it better. It's still the same connection, and if it's faulty it's going to stay faulty.”

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“It's difficult for women to be honest and direct because for centuries we were burned at the stake, or persecuted, or exiled, or rejected, or excommunicated, or divorced, or shamed, or socially excluded, for saying what we truly thought and felt. Now, we know how to act like we're being direct and forthright, when we're not, and we know how to seem uninhibited and free, when we're not, and we know how to appear helpless and damaged, when we're not. Deception is more ingrained in us than honesty.”

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“People think that seeing is blaming. They assume that through articulating what's happening that they're being judged, and ridiculed, when they're actually just being seen. I don't mean to condemn. A scientist doesn't judge the organisms in a petri dish. Scientific experiments aren't about making the organisms right or wrong for doing what they're doing. It's about watching how they work, and getting to know how they behave and interact.”

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“That's the best way to know anything, although no one ever tells you that. No one ever says, "Just use the expansive feeling in your chest to understand what's true, and what you want, and where to go, and what really matters," because they're too busy forcing you to learn from books that they're choosing, and pointing at whiteboards that they're writing on, and encouraging you to ask questions from curriculums that they've set.”

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“It's far easier to reel off lists of shops, and retreats, and job titles than it is to engage with the process of self-discovery, which isn't always easy to articulate and, sorry, it's just that we don't really have time to wait around for every little thought and feeling to be considered, expressed, and shared. There are more important things to be done and bought and planned for, and more important people waiting around who are more ready, willing, and able to be reduced to the confines of their stuff, and things, and shit.”

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“Most people aren't cognizant of the fact that, in order to feel comfortable, they require others not to cry or do anything outside of the established code of conduct, which is an unspoken code of conduct, of course. Nevertheless, it must be adhered to, and implemented, through harnessing certain movements and non-invasive forms of eye contact, and it doesn't come naturally to me . . .”

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“It occurs to me that my sexuality is more fluid in my mind than it is in 3D. I often wish that my sexual desires were more malleable than they are. Being solely attracted to men sucks. It's like suffering from an irreversible case of Stockholm syndrome. I'm drawn to the very creature that has violated, oppressed, exploited, raped, kidnapped, subjugated, controlled, made fun of, manipulated, abused, belittled, objectified, persecuted, and condescended me and my people for centuries.”

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