“Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out.”
“Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out.”
“To whomever swapped my tattoo cream for toothpaste........ well played.”
“Anyone who says "Trust me" is the last motherfucker you should ever trust.”
“I don't "lol". I tried it once but it just didn't agree with me.”