Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection

“Meditation can be a refuge, but it is not a practice in which real life is ever excluded. The strength of mindfulness is that it enables us to hold difficult thoughts and feelings in a different way—with awareness, balance, and love”

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“By accepting and learning to embrace the inevitable sorrows of life, we realize that we can experience a more enduring sense of happiness.”

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“Real Love for ourselves by definition includes every aspect of our lives—the good, the bad, the difficult, the challenging past, the uncertain future, as well as all the shameful, upsetting experiences and encounters we’d just as soon forget.”

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“When we contemplate the miracle of embodied life, we begin to partner with our bodies in a kinder way.”

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“To imagine the way we think is the singular causative agent of all we go through is to practice cruelty toward ourselves.”

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“It’s affirming that we can look at any experience from the fullness of our being and get past the shame we carry.”

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“We can use meditation as a way to experiment with new ways of relating to ourselves, even our uncomfortable thoughts.”

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“if we really look at our actions with eyes of love, we see that our lives can be more straightforward, simpler, less sculpted by regret and fear, more in alignment with our deepest values.”

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“Paying attention to the ethical implications of our choices has never been more pressing—or more complicated—than it is today.”

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“When we learn to respond to disappointments with acceptance, we give ourselves the space to realize that all our experiences—good and bad alike—are opportunities to learn and grow.”

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“To truly love ourselves, we must open to our wholeness, rather than clinging to the shivers of ourselves represented by old stories. Living in a story of a limited self – to any degree – is not love.”

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“Maybe we don't need to correct some terrible deficiency. Maybe what we really need is to change our relationship to what is, to see who we are with the strength of a generous spirit and a wise heart.”

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“The difference between a life laced through with frustration and one sustained by happiness depends on whether it is motivated by self-hatred or by real love for oneself.”

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“The notion of loving oneself has gotten an undeservedly bad rap, which goes something like this: self-love is narcissistic, selfish, self-indulgent, the supreme delusion of a runaway ego looking out for “number one.” In fact, just the opposite is true.”

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“Sympathetic joy is a practice. It takes time and effort to free ourselves of the scarcity story that most of us have learned along the way, the idea that happiness is a competition, and that someone else is grabbing all the joy.”

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“The key in letting go is practice. Each time we let go, we disentangle ourselves from our expectations and begin to experience things as they are.”

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“When we don’t tell those we love about what’s really going on or listen carefully to what they have to say, we tend to fill in the blanks with stories.”

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“Mindfulness won’t ensure you’ll win an argument with your sister. Mindfulness won’t enable you to bypass your feelings of anger or hurt either. But it may help you see the conflict in a new way, one that allows you to break through old patterns.”

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“Cultivating loving kindness for ourselves is the foundation of real love for our friends and family, for new people we encounter in our daily lives, for all beings and for life itself.”

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“Buddhism has a term for the happiness we feel at someone else’s success or good fortune. Sympathetic joy, as it is known, invites us to celebrate for others.”

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“The practice of sympathetic joy is rooted in inner development. It’s not a matter of learning techniques to “make friends and influence people.” Instead, we build the foundations of our own happiness. When our own cup is full, we more easily share it with others.”

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“Forgiveness is a personal process that doesn’t depend on us having direct contact with the people who have hurt us.”

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“Even when we do our very best to treat those close to us with utmost respect and understanding, conflict happens. That’s life. That’s human nature.”

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“Forgiveness is the way we break the grip that long-held resentments have on our hearts.”

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“Though it may seem counter intuitive to our inner perfectionist, recognizing our mistakes as valuable lessons (not failures) helps us lay the groundwork for later success.”

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“When we respond to our pain and suffering with love, understanding, and acceptance—for ourselves, as well as others— over time, we can let go of our anger, even when we’ve been hurt to the core. But that doesn’t mean we ever forget.”

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