“If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.” IfsFallAudienceFiveMinutesSouthParksFive Minutes Author:Stephan Pastis
“If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.” PeopleIfsTalkingColorOffersBeatsDinnerMealsRestaurantsCrayon Author:Stephan Pastis
“Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for someone who has a food stain on their shirt or food in their teeth, as if to say, 'Your fashion sense is so offensive I'm assuming it's some sort of accident you'll want to fix.” PeopleIfsWantFashionLike YouAssumingAccidentsTeethShirtsOffensiveTemptedStainsCollars Author:Stephan Pastis
“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.” IfsKnowsEndsSeemsAbleAddGet AwayPun Author:Stephan Pastis
“My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend...If it weren’t for her, I’d be happy.” IfsMadeLastsWifeMy WifeWeekend Author:Stephan Pastis
“If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.” IfsGivingI CanWisePages Author:Stephan Pastis
“I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first.” IfsFirstsBookCharacterDrawingPencilsSigning Author:Stephan Pastis
“If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.” IfsCertainGenerationsInfluenceModernPeanuts Author:Stephan Pastis
