“Beating yourself up is a useless and damaging process and it is also a CHOICE. You don’t have to do it. Ask what good is it doing? Also ask is this the way that you want to deal with yourself? You can choose to look more objectively and see what you can do to improve, or accept the way that you are, with a smile. Things won’t get better by attacking and demeaning yourself. Relax and encourage yourself instead.” SmileChoiceRelaxAcceptEncourageImproveBeat Author:Steve Peters
“In its severe form, this is not uncommonly seen when a person has such low self-esteem that their Chimp allows their partner to beat them up, physically or psychologically, and then remain with them. Learn to recognise what is happening and work with their Chimp’s emotions and learn to build self-esteem and self-respect to replace insecurity. This is not an easy task and professional help is often needed.” Self EsteemSelf RespectInsecurityBeat Author:Steve Peters
“They then beat themselves up because they don’t like this aspect about themselves. In reality it is not an aspect of them at all, it is merely an out-of-control Chimp that they can learn to manage. The woman is easily capable of making decisions.” DecisionCapableManageControlBeat Author:Steve Peters
“Never beat yourself up if you handle stress poorly. This is a useless and damaging bad habit. As a bad habit is just a Gremlin we can remove it. Try smiling, relaxing and coming back with enthusiasm. You can only do your best, so accept it.” SmileEnthusiasmRelaxRemoveBestAcceptBeatCome Back Author:Steve Peters
“In the Human society, we don’t have sticks. Here, an ideal leader is the person who develops the group and encourages them. It is based on the principle that people are doing their best and if they are failing then it means they need more support, guidance or development. People prefer to be encouraged, supported and rewarded, rather than being beaten. Of course there are standards to reach and benchmarks must be set and the consequences of not reaching them clarified.” SupportConsequenceBestRewardEncourageBeatStandardStickBenchmark Author:Steve Peters
“At times I hate myself for being so out of control.’ If Amy doesn’t understand how her mind works she ends up beating herself up and feeling bad about it. If she understands how her mind works then we have a very different scenario and interpretation. What really happened, and how it could have been interpreted more accurately, is as follows.” HateAccurateBeatInterpret Author:Steve Peters